


Monotone

by flightlesseagle



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Coming of Age, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Idiots in Love, Romance, She Got Issues But We All Do, Slow Burn, Somewhat Soulmate AUish, Strangers to Friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:08:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 33,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24383335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flightlesseagle/pseuds/flightlesseagle
Summary: She lived her life in monotone. He was screaming in colors. She was content with how things were until he slowly formed a crack in her black and white world and she suddenly found herself drowning in a sea of colors.
Relationships: Nishinoya Yuu/Reader
Comments: 15
Kudos: 108





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> “all the fear and the fire of the end of the world happens each time a boy falls in love with a girl.”  
> — wasteland, baby / hozier

**Monotony was a beautiful thing.**

Most people would disagree with her on that. Nobody seemed to like how nothing seems to happen to the point that some people would deliberately stir the quiet lull of the world and create chaos; all for the purpose of destroying the monotony they appear to loathe with their every fibre.

It was also these very people that didn't know how to handle the consequence of the chaos they've caused.

Of course, the attack didn't need to be at a large scale. Some can be categorized as small as how one would cut one's bangs just to pull themselves out of the monotony that enveloped them.

It was amazing the length some people would take just to break it.

She on the other hand loved monotony.

Of course, she didn't think of it as strange until her friends pointed it out. Most teenagers would prefer their lives to be painted in a hue of colors; bursting, crackling, and never ending. Even the most introverted person wanted their world in different colors. Maybe not in the bursting colors of a rainbow but it wasn't also in black and white.

She wanted it to be in black and white.

To her, it was comforting. There was something about the monotony of her everyday mundane life that she found endearing; wake up, wash up, get dressed, go to school, then work at her part time job.

Rinse and repeat.

It was boring but she wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. She loved the peace that came with the monotony.

Seiko—her best friend who was bursting in the colors of sunshine and daffodils—asked her one day if she ever got sick of her seemingly unending routine. She replied "no" without missing a beat.

It's not like she was expecting anyone to understand, anyway. People see the world differently and she's fine with that. She's indifferent whether people appreciate the comfort she felt whenever time passes by slowly.

She's indifferent if they would give her weirded looks when she admitted that she wanted time to stop when she's in her room, window open while the soft humming of a pop song was playing from her phone and she's sitting on her bed doing nothing.

"Before you know it, you'll be an old lady and then you'll be regretting not doing anything when you were young, you know?" The words were spoken to her one lunch time and a pair of chopsticks was pointed to her face.

They were spoken as some type of joke, but she didn't miss the underlying worry in it.

It wasn't like she didn't get where it was coming from. She didn't have any ambition, which was strange for someone her age. This type of behaviour was to be expected from a middle-aged woman who had been through a lot and was tired of her life, not from a sixteen year old girl who was at her prime. Once in her last year of middle school she even got scolded when she wrote in her future evaluation form that she wanted to sit and do nothing until she gets old.

The teacher nagged at her and told her to take it seriously.

He didn't understand that she was very, very, very serious about it.

Well it was amusing to watch him fume at least.

"Dream a little, will you? Stop wasting away your youth!" Another friend, Kaito, exclaimed as he not so subtly stole an egg roll from her lunchbox. She let him do so, but she opted to take his fried chicken, much to his distaste.

"Even if you say that," she started after thoroughly chewing her food. "What am I supposed to dream about? I really don't care about anything."

That of course earned her an overdramatic sob from the boy. "I don't know where I went wrong! I don't remember raising you like this!" He said and she watched Seiko rub his back in a comforting matter. Even Seiko was wiping her tears and agreeing to what he was saying.

(It's strange how a couple can be so alike. Is this what they call chemistry? She questioned more to herself.)

She of course pointed out that he didn't raised her because they literally only became friends during their first year in high school, and she only met Seiko during middle school.

It made them both cry harder and their classmates laughed at their expense. Their antics had become an ongoing gag in their classroom even after they've ascended to second year in high school.

"Maybe if you get yourself a boyfriend then you would stop being like this." Seiko commented with a pout; something that made her grin.

"Maybe," she said and popped her last egg roll in her mouth. "But I'm not really interested in that type of thing."

"You're not interested in anything!" The other girl whined loudly. She countered that she was actually interested in movies and music but apparently those weren't valid answers. The counter argument was that they were an instrument to her wanting to waste away in the shadows, never to be seen again.

And it wasn't like she was passionate about them. Even with those two she was so-so.

The bell rang shortly after that and she watched as her friends pout and go back to their respective seats. It wasn't the end of the argument, she was sure of it, but at least it was the end of it for the day.

Well, if you look at the bright side she can be boring once again without people getting riled up about it. For a few hours anyway then it's back to Seiko worrying about her like a mother hen.

She loved the monotone. She loved the world in black and white. She loved the never-ending routine and most importantly she loved the simplicity of it.

Yes, her world was in a consistent monotony...

...until the colors started to seep through her monotonous world.

It was amazing how a single fuck up in her routine could change everything.

It happened one morning when she woke up with a gasp and saw that, well, she was going to be super late for her class. The girl hurriedly jumped off her bed and changed to her school uniform. She was internally screaming and rushed downstairs with only one sock on.

Maybe it was because of her state of panic that she didn't noticed how her mother was not in the kitchen and preparing breakfast, or how she ran passed the store owner near their home who would only sweep outside his shop during the very early mornings, but she willed herself to run faster and reach the bus stop.

She disregarded the weirded look she got from the few occupants of the bus when she ran inside the vehicle like she's being chased by a thousand demons.

The girl was hyper aware that she might've looked like a deranged lunatic but the image of her being chewed on by her demonic homeroom teacher occupied her mind more.

So much so that she also failed to notice how the campus seemed to be completely barren when she got off the bus.

She continued to run like a maniac—even the time she changed her outdoors shoes to her indoor ones was a new record to behold—and ignored how her legs were pretty much screaming at her to stop.

With a loud slam, she opened the back door to her classroom and screamed "I'm here!" to announce her arrival. (As if the door slamming wasn't enough.)

Then she was greeted with silence.

Her heart was hammering hard in her chest and she was catching her breath. She blinked rapidly and then she falls to her knees.

For the first time in her life, she wanted the world to explode and have everything end.

Because despite of all that unnecessary cardio that she did first thing in the morning, she found herself greeted by an empty classroom.

"You've got to be kidding me." She groaned and slapped a hand over her face.

She's heard of this cliche before.

Person A mistakes the time and scramble to their feet thinking they're late only to find out that they got the time wrong. She laughed when she heard it the first time, thinking how stupid you must be to be in that predicament. Yet, now she found herself in the same position.

Karma really works hard, huh?

Her hunch was her clock ran out of batteries and stopped during when she was asleep but then again, her stupidity was slowly dawning into her for not noticing the signs. (Or checking the clock in the living room for a comparison.)

To make matters worse she saw on the classroom clock that there's still an hour and a half before her classmates would arrive. That and she finally realized that she left her phone at home.

Today was already turning for the worse. She debated going home and just skipping but then quickly realized that getting into an argument with her mother over it was not worth the trouble.

So, with a deep sigh, she stood up from her position and walked to where her seat was. She didn't even bother closing the door, too pissed off to even care.

The girl plopped on her chair and gave out another sigh, this time not out of frustration but with just exhaustion.

She thought of things to do while she waited for her friends to arrive—do her homework? She already finished them last night while she was hunched over the counter of the convenience store that she worked in. Roam the school campus to pass time? Viable but she doesn't think that her feet was in condition to take another step. That leads her to one thing: sleep.

It made sense because if she wasn't such a moron then she should still be snoring her life away that very moment.

Problem was she was one of those people who simply couldn't sleep while sitting down. She needed to be in the comfort of a bed with a soft pillow underneath her head. Again, a sigh escaped her lips.

"Well, whatever. I can try at least." She told herself and buried her face into her folded arms.

It's not until she was two minutes into her attempt to sleep that she started to appreciate her current situation.

Maybe it was because she was too ticked off earlier, but she just realized how peaceful that morning was. The sound of her quiet breathing melded well with the birds chirping right outside of the classroom window. There was also the muffled sound of the track and field club echoing from hallway as they do their morning run and exercise; and then there's the soft humming of the heater thanks to the still cold air the early springtime brought.

Unconsciously, she smiled.

This was the type of peace that she liked. The monotonous sound of everyday mundane life that she wouldn't mind staying in. It filled her heart with a type of warmth that she knew other people would attribute to different things. Maybe not everyone, but she knows most of the people she was acquainted with wouldn't share her thoughts.

She doesn't mind that people don't appreciate her love for this type of thing; she know they too have something that they love as much as she did with this quiet comforting moment.

People might think of her as strange for attributing the colors of black and white with warmth and she don't get it as well. Maybe it's the thing that her mother would often times tell her while she was in the midst of crying over an unlikely couple in a movie.

"Some things just make sense without any explanation!" The woman would sob as she blew her nose in a tissue.

She didn't get it but she doesn't dare argue with the older woman because she was quite a sensitive fellow.

The girl let out an unattractive snort at the image of her mother ugly crying and defending the couple on the television screen.

She has no idea how long she was in that position—arms slowly going numb while the soft lull of the morning cradled her—and frankly she found herself slowly falling asleep, which was shocking to say the least.

But it's the sound of shoes skipping over the concrete floor that pulls her back to reality. She didn't pay it in mind at first, but she did thought that whoever it was might be quite of a character. Mostly because you're not supposed to be running in the hallway—she assumed they were running based on the sound.

Pitter, patter, pitter, patter. It was rapidly increasing in speed and then a screech.

Then it was silent all over again.

She frowned at this. She was sure the sound had gotten closer, around the front of her classroom even.

So, did it just disappear?

Her fingers twitched as she was deciding that it was finally time to get up. She has no idea what she's going to do but she thinks that she had rested well enough.

It's when she's finally sitting straight and rubbing the sleep off her eyes that she heard a gasp. It startled her to say the least and she snapped her head so fast to the direction of the sound that she nearly had a whiplash.

What she saw from the open classroom door was a familiar face that she didn't know the name of.

She'd seen him before, of course.

It was one of those cases where they always seemed to be everywhere that one suddenly starts to recognize their faces even before actually having a conversation with the person. It also helped that he was always so boisterous that anyone would turn their head to his direction whenever his voice boomed within the vicinity.

A familiar face but a stranger, nonetheless. She didn't know his name and frankly it was probably the same with him.

What she knows was they're in the same year level but in different classes.

It was when she blinked rapidly that she finally registered the expression on his face.

He was... gaping? His eyes were opened wide and there were visibly hues of pink on his cheeks. The boy's eyes were undeniably shining and he looked like he's been blown away by something.

Which was very strange to say the least.

"Hello?" She started and swallowed down the laugh that bubbled in her chest when he jumped a few feet above the ground.

Really, what a strange guy.

"Y-you're—" he strangely stuttered and slowly raised his index finger to point at her. "You're real—"

"What the hell, you're already here?" And his words were cut off by a different voice coming from the other side of the room. Instantly, her eyes transferred to the owner of the voice.

Kaito was standing there with one of his eyebrows raised. She blinked once then twice and was about to respond when a scream echoed within the classroom, and possibly in the entirety of the campus.

He noticed him this time around but before he could even open his mouth the other boy was already sprinting away, leaving a dust of cloud in his wake.

"J-just now," he started. "Was that Nishinoya from Class 3?" The boy finally asked.

"Nishinoya?" She parroted just as he got closer. He of course gave her weirded look and questioned how come she doesn't know him when he's so apparently famous.

She has no clue of what his name was, she admitted which in turn only made her friend snicker. But the conversation was quickly put aside when he asked why she was so early in the morning, leading her to admit the mishap that had happen to her.

Much like how she used to do, she didn't put Nishinoya on her mind. Whatever his problem was she was sure it didn't have anything to do with her.

It wouldn't make sense if it did because they don't each other, right?

He was just a small glitch in her everyday black and white world and would disappear as quick as he disrupted the monotony of her quiet morning.

Unbeknownst to her was how said Nishinoya continued to run screaming until he couldn't anymore. It's when he uncharacteristically hid behind the building wall, face ablaze, clutching the fabric of his gym clothes over his heart, that a crack hard formed in her two colored world.

It's a small burst of color in a black and white space but as it will continue to burn, it will slowly occupy the vicinity.

Monotony was a beautiful thing but a world bursting with colors was a thousand times better.

But she doesn't know that yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to my friend who proof read this. u the best


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “the rest of the world was in black and white but you were in screaming color.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i tweaked with that lyrics.

**There was no doubt that her mother was a hopeless romantic.**

It was the woman who informed her that each dream has their own meaning; that even the most mundane one could be a message sent by some sentient being no mortal was allowed to see. She didn't specify what kind of a being she was talking about—pretty sure she didn't thought of it thoroughly—but she was quite of a character and tended to go overboard with her storytelling.

"They're telling you something!" The woman exclaimed as she handed the ten-year old girl her bowl of rice. The little girl merely raised an eyebrow and wondered how her dreaming of a sponge cartoon lead them to this conversation. "They are never random, Mama is sure of it! So look out for the obvious signs, alright?" Then she beamed at her sweetly.

She didn't get what the woman was talking about, of course.

What could be so important Mr. Spongebob needed to tell her that he appeared in her dreams?

(Later that day, she was surprisingly amazed when a familiar yellow square greeted her when she opened the gacha box that she purchased. "Huh, maybe she was telling the truth after all." The girl muttered and observed the toy in her hand.

When she informed her of this, the woman looked disappointed and proceeded to pout. It's definitely something that no grown woman should do. There was just something eerie about it.

"How boring! Mama was expecting something romantic!" She sulked.

Sometimes she just don't get her own mother.)

Years later she dreamed of a crow and a dark heavy forest.

She saw herself running after something, the heavy-set kimono that she wore was dragging her down yet she persevered. Why a kimono? She wasn't sure. Probably because she watched a historical drama before falling asleep. But whatever it was that she was chasing must have been quite important. She'd never seen herself that determined before; not even when she was trying to get the corn inside the kernel canned soup that their school vending machine sold.

The girl called out to something but the words were muffled and due to her haste, she tripped over her kimono. She landed face first on the cold forest ground and she could almost hear the unseen beings surrounding her snickering at her expense.

She wanted to murder each on of them then.

Time passes by differently when one was dreaming. She wasn't sure how long she stayed there lying face first but she saw the seasons passed by and watched as the leaves buried her unmoving form, followed by the snow, until eventually the cherry blossom petals replaced the cold blanket.

She continued to lay there akin to that of a fallen corpse. But she wasn't dead, at least she thought so because she would've woken up if that was the case. That's how dreams run, right?

Then she heard a flutter of a pair of wings, and true to her theory she raised her head to check on sound.

A crow landed a few inches from her. She weakly moved her hand and reached out for the animal but it never moved an inch to get closer. It simply stayed out of her reach and stared at her with its dark eyes.

There was tense moment as she waited for the bird to do something, and when it finally did, it cawed so loudly that her soul was pulled back to her body and she was literally woken up from her dream.

She found herself on cold wooden floor of her room. Well, half of her anyway. Her feet were still on her bed and the other half of her body was lying flat on the wood.

Talk about waking up with a start. The fall must have been so loud because her mother literally barged through her door and looked like she was going to cry any given moment.

She apologized for startling her and after a lengthy interrogation of why fell off the bed, she ended up telling the woman her peculiar dream.

The girl was already expecting the squeal that came out of the older woman's mouth.

"How wonderful! Is this finally a sign? Are you finally going to meet your soul mate?!" She gushed and bounced on her feet, all the while shaking her daughter's hands.

She wanted to ask how seeing a bird in one's dream equated to meeting one's soul mate but thought against it. Knowing her mother, she must have pulled that notion right off her ass.

Still, she couldn't erase the image of the crow in her dream.

* * *

"According to this website, dreaming about a crow meant that something about you will change."

Her flinching wasn't subtle the slightest.

Usui, the friend who read off the article for her, raised one perfectly filled eyebrow. Maybe it was indeed ridiculous to react that violently about a simple dream reading (that was possibly bogus too, mind you) but to her defence, getting told that things were going to change made her skin crawl.

She didn't hated change, but she prefer them to not happen as absurd as that may sound.

Change was constant; she was aware of that. But she was afraid that with change her beloved monotony would disappear as well. An idea that didn't sat well with her. She needed her everyday monotony as one would need air to breathe.

Honestly, she'd rather take her mother's dumb soul mate theory over that interpretation. (The former was more unlikely to happen and she could live with that.)

"You didn't like that, huh?" Usui commented as she pocketed her phone. "Change isn't that bad, you know?" She continued which merely made the other girl sigh.

"I'm aware. I never said I didn't like it." She countered and choose to busy herself with the fashion magazine her friend brought. She wasn't supposed to bring it to school but some people just like to rebel against the system. And by that she meant this girl who was sitting before her.

Usui hummed and smiled knowingly. "You didn't need to say it. It's written all over your face." She pointed out, and once again the girl flinched.

She don't have anything to counter that. There was no denying the obvious so she just kept quiet.

Thankfully, Seiko came in before Usui could continue to jab at her with her words. The girl had the usual bounce to her feet and immediately chattered about this one drama she watched the other night. Times like these were when she's glad that Seiko was such a chatterbox. She served as a good decoy to remove the attention away from her.

But still, change huh?

That was such an ominous news. Usui was right, she didn't like change. To some people change might be a harbinger of good fortune but that was never the case for her.

Change was a pain in the ass.

It was as much of a pain as when her dearly beloved friend Kaito begged her to take out the trash in his stead. She gave him a deadpanned look as he clasped both of his hand in front him while saying he just _need_ to fight for that last _yakisoba_ bread in the cafeteria.

She retorted how it's a pain to do so and why ask a girl in the first place? Not that she really cared but it's times like these—when she'd rather melt away in her seat and listen to her friends ramble about anything—that she liked to pull out the "girl" card. That, of course was smugly pointed out by the boy and she about lost the argument.

Damn him for being cheeky.

So as much as she hated getting up from her seat, she reluctantly stood up to do the job. She wanted to smack Kaito's face as he ran off happily toward the cafeteria. The girl thought that he better not runaway when it's finally her real schedule for cleanup for he was definitely going to do it.

Thankfully the garbage bag wasn't as full as she expected. She quickly move out to carry it to the back building where the general trash were collected.

She disposed of it with a huff before proceeding to stretch her limbs. The sound of bone cracking after a good stretch was all that she could hear and she thanked all unknown entities that gave her that sweet relief.

The girl pulled out her phone from her pocket after she was done. She contemplated the time she'll have if she decided to simply dick around somewhere quiet. It was lunchtime after all and she doubted that her friends would mind her disappearing for a bit.

Fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes were a long time, right? She tilted her head to the side and weighed down her options.

"Maybe not," she finally concluded and slid her phone back. With a deep exhale, she looked up to the sky.

The sky above was devoid of any clouds and she wondered if this good weather would continue for the rest of the week. She wasn't the type to watch any local news and would barely watch any television unless her mother drags her for a movie marathon. That being said she hoped it would.

She wasn't going to deny that she loved rainy days. In fact, if one were to ask her what her favorite season was she'd say it's the rainy season. She loved the rain, the smell of wet earth, the soft pitter patter of raindrops against her windows, and she specially loved the coffee or hot chocolate her mother would make during those days.

Those were the memories that she'd put in a jar and keep forever.

But the cloudless springtime has its charm that she appreciated as well.

It's the full bloomed flowers that she passed by when she's on her way to her part-time job that she couldn't help but admire. Or that old couple next door who liked to sit on their porch and admire the single cherry blossom tree within their property. She'd sometimes catches them holding hands and the girl admired how they seemed to still be so in love even after decades of being together.

It was a warm sight to say the least.

There was no doubt that it's the little things that she liked the most.

But her daydreaming was put to halt when she heard a loud caw coming from above. It startled her a bit and she finally noticed the single crow staring down at her from the top of the building.

Once again, she's reminded of her dream.

"Look for the obvious signs." Her mother's words rang loudly in her ear. She said that but what signs was she even supposed to look for? There was just too many possibilities and the task was nearly impossible without a single clue.

As if on cue, the sound of shoes hitting the gravel register in her ears.

In the instance she diverted her eyes toward the source of it. Only for her to see the same face who screamed and ran away from her one early morning, about a week ago.

It's when she uttered an "Oh," that he finally looked up from whatever it was he was reading on his phone. Saying that the way he went to a screeching halt was hilarious was an understatement.

She'd never seen someone comically freeze before and she was glad she was able to.

The girl blinked for a couple of times and decided that it's probably for the best that she greeted the boy. She faced him and wore the best polite smile that she could and started with the customary "Good afternoon," followed by a bow.

What he did next would have made her laugh if it wasn't for how it completely caught her off guard.

"Sleeping Beauty!" he practically screamed as he sprinted to close off the distance between them. If that wasn't enough, he got to one knee and took ahold of her hand. "You are by far the most beautiful girl—next to Kiyoko-san that is—that I've ever seen! Please go out with me!"

And the crow above the building cawed even louder.

* * *

"I," she started as she stabbed her milk box with a straw. "Got confessed to."

The way Seiko spat out her drink straight at Kaito's face was not only funny but was also viewed by the girl as divine punishment because, technically, what happened during lunchtime was his fault. "What?!" Her friend screeched while her boyfriend sputtered and Usui was looking at her like she'd grown a second head.

Classes ended for the day and they were lounging near the vending machine before going to their clubs; job in her case.

"You know I took out the trash earlier, right?" She started after taking a sip of her drink. "Well, I was admiring the sky and stuffs then I saw this crow, right? I then remembered my dream last night and then what my mom said. Suddenly this boy came, got on his one knee, and without missing a beat he asked me to go out with him."

"What is with that shōjo manga plot?!" Seiko exclaimed and proceeded to shake her vigorously. "I have so many questions!"

"Me too," Usui chimed in. "Are you sure you didn't hallucinate this? 'Cause this sounds unlikely."

"I'm telling you I'm pretty shocked as well," the girl replied when she finally made her friend to stop shaking her. "He even called me 'Sleeping Beauty!' before all of that." She relayed and even went as far as to mimic the way he screamed the name. Both Kaito and Usui broke into hysterics after hearing that while Seiko's frown continued to deepen.

"Sleeping beauty?!" Kaito gasped out and clutched his stomach. "Who unironically calls someone that?!" he wheezed while Usui banged her fist to the wall next to the vending machine.

(She wasn't going to say that she didn't get what they found funny.)

"You two stop laughing! This is a serious matter!" It was Seiko who stomped her feet on the ground and pouted. "Can't you see? This is the moment we've been waiting for! She finally have a development in her dull life!" She practically screamed and pointed at her.

"Yeah, no shit!" Usui guffawed with tears uncontrollably rolling from her eyes. "I'm telling you! That's gotta be the best way to confess to someone! Sleeping Beauty? Sleeping Beauty?!"

"Tell me you said yes. Please tell me you said yes!" It's Kaito this time who was wearing the same expression as their dear friend Usui; mildly deranged look and red from laughing.

"No, I didn't." She admitted which made the duo laugh even harder and Seiko letting out a sound that was akin to a dying whale.

"But why?! That was a once in a lifetime chance!" The girl argued.

"Well, I barely know the guy and that was our first conversation." She said and finished the rest of her milk. "I can't go out with someone like that and I'm not interested in that type of stuffs." The girl bluntly confessed.

That of course made Seiko wail louder. "That was your chance and you blew it away! You're not really serious about dying alone, are you?"

When she said "I am, actually." Her best friend cried even harder to the point that her mascara had started to smudge.

"I will not allow it! I will not!" She cried. "You deserve to be with someone who will make you happy and make cute babies with! I will not allow you to be alone!"

When she's acting like this, she's strangely reminded of her very own mother. The girl could see the older woman doing the same and throwing a tantrum in the exact way. Which was why she had never mentioned her plans to her.

"Who's the dude anyway?" Usui finally questioned after she came down from her high, albeit still snickering.

"Oh," she said and stared at the milk box in her hand. "It was Nishinoya from Class 3."

At that, Kaito instantly stopped laughing and stared at her incredulously. "You're kidding, right?" He asked.

"No? Not really." The girl merely replied and wondered why was it so hard to think that someone like Nishinoya would do something like that.

"Ah, I know him." Usui said and snapped her fingers in realization. "We were classmates during our first year and I think he's in the basketball club."

"Volleyball," Kaito corrected.

"Same thing." Usui retorted with a very unattractive snort.

"No, they're not." The boy frowned which merely made the girl roll her eyes.

"Whatever. Both sports deal with balls, right?" She said. "Anyway, I've personally only spoken to him for a couple of times but my older sister—you know, Maika? She's in her third year. Yeah that one—said that he is super infatuated with their manager or something... I don't know."

"That's what you know? How about the part where he's hailed as a genius and is a very good Libero?" Kaito exclaimed and was visibly upset that Usui only knew senseless gossips about Nishinoya.

"Uwah, look at you. You're literally sparkling. Are you in love with him or something?" Usui teased to which the boy replied with a "W-What's wrong with appreciating talented people?!"

Spoken like a true sports enthusiast.

By this time, the girl had already zoned out.

If what her friend had said about him being infatuated with his manager, then she was right to outright reject him. Although she do admit that seeing him flush fifty shades of red after being rejected and then realizing his impromptu confession was more than amusing.

Well at least that's already over. She thought.

"With that being said, I kinda see where that Nishinoya is coming from with the 'Sleeping Beauty' thing." Usui said and slung an arm over her shoulder. "You're very easy to the eyes and if you don't utter a single word for the rest of your life, you could pass as an actual _Yamato Nadeshiko_ with your looks."

Snickering, she jabs her friend with her elbow. "You think I'm pretty?" She cooed and attempted to flutter her eyelashes in a flirty way; reminiscing of those heroines in her mother's favorite movies. Of course she failed horribly at it and they ended up nearly laughing themselves until they couldn't anymore.

(At least most of them because Seiko was still hung up on how she let go of the supposedly "love interest" in her stupid black and white life. The girl kept the pout on her face until they finally had enough and decided it was time to go their respective way.)

* * *

It was getting harder to breathe.

Maybe not in a literal sense but there was this heavy feeling in her chest and she can't seem to shake it off no matter how hard she tried. What was it? She asked herself. It was an unanswerable question because she didn't have any idea. She tried to keep her cool during her conversation with her friends but deep down inside she was panicking.

All she know was that something was changing.

Call it intuition or whatever, but she felt uneasy as she waited for the bus to arrive. She was on her way to her part-time job and it perfectly aligned with her daily routine.

Aside from that sudden confession from the strange boy from Class 3, every puzzle pieces fell perfectly in their designated spots. She woke up right on time, arrived at her class ten minutes before it started, she ate her lunch with her friends and her being part of the "going home club" she was going straight to her job.

That little confession shouldn't have that much effect on her life, right? She was sure he was not going to come back because why would he?

He's not some sort of idiot that would chase after a girl he barely knew after he got rejected, right? The girl unconsciously clutched the strap of her bag.

"He's just a small glitch," she softly tells herself, repeating the same words she thought of a week ago when she saw his gaping face for the first time.

A small glitch. Nothing but a small glitch. He'd be gone before one would know it.

She didn't like change. There was an underlying reason behind it that she kept six feet underground and vowed to let it stay there. She was fine with how things were, she was fine with her life in this small town, and she was fine with uneventful monotonous days of her life.

She'd rather not have it changed. The girl wanted that endless loop of solitude, the comfort of the memories she wanted to put in a jar. That was all that she needed, nothing more and nothing less.

Yet what was this feeling in her chest? It almost felt like it was burning; that something was clawing out and trying to burst out of her. It was sentient almost. It doesn't stop until it finds a way out and she was sure that the very moment it find that tiny, tiny door, a drop was what it would take for her heart to burst.

The idea alone scared as much as the crows that she still saw around her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love slow burns ya kno?


	3. Chapter 3

** Nishinoya Yū dreamt of a black cat by the window. **

It was a day after his eight birthday and despite of the years that had passed since, if something were to remind him he would still remember the dream vividly.

He recalled standing in front of a house and had his eyes fixed on the window on the second floor. The house in itself was nothing special, just a simple two-storied building that was painted in beige with its only unique trait were the vines that had wrapped itself around it. Its curtains were drawn and a cat was curled up on the windowsill and its tail dangling lazily.

The house's gate was tightly locked though and no matter how many times he tried to climb over its walled bricked fence, it just seemed to grow higher and higher.

He remembered the frustration that bubbled in his chest every time his attempt didn't bear any fruition.

The boy needed to reach that window. He needed to cross that wall. And the strangest part was, he didn't have any idea why.

He remembered screaming something but his words were muffled and the cat stayed in its spot. It didn't make any motion of moving nor did it even acknowledged his presence. It just stayed there seemingly trapped in time. He watched as the world changed before it, watched as each season passed by and yet it continued to slumber.

Then a strong gust of wind suddenly attacked him and the next time he opened his eyes, the black cat wasn't there anymore.

Instead he saw a girl about his age from where the cat was originally sleeping. Much like the feline, she slept soundly and was completely unaware of his presence which left him to admire her beauty. Even as a little boy, he understood why his cheeks started to color and why his heart started to beat hard in his chest. He wouldn't call it love (he was still too young to understand how that worked) but seeing her made him feel emotions he couldn't put a name on.

As a child he was afraid of a lot of things.

He felt that in each corner lurked a dangerous beast ready to devour him whole. He was afraid to take any risk just in case it would lead him to his death. But strangely enough, that fear wasn't present as he gazed at the little sleeping beauty. He wanted to meet her. He wanted to talk to her, ask her for her name, and most importantly he wanted to have her open her eyes and look at him.

But in the end he never did accomplished any of those.

He dreamt of being able to successfully climb nearly half of the wall only to be pulled down by a shadowy figure. He then woke up with his face planted on his bedroom floor.

Yū never did saw her again in his dreams. She was like a fleeting memory he slowly forgot as time changed.

It was when years later that he remembered her again. The volleyball team was having its afternoon practice and Shoyō was chattering about his sister and how she's suddenly having an interest towards the story of Sleeping Beauty. The memory didn't instantly came back to him until his lowerclassman came to the part where the prince climbed the tower to kiss the princess and break the curse. And ah! He did had that kind of dream.

The boy was very surprised of how clear the memory was despite of having it buried for a long time.

Of course he didn't waste any chance of telling the younger his dream, which in turn earned him that look of complete admiration. Most of it was due to him tweaking with the story a bit. He told Shoyō that he indeed managed to climb the wall, saved the princess, and gallantly ran toward the setting sun with her in his strong arms.

Tsukishima took a jab at him by saying not only was his height that of a middle schooler but so was his dreams. Yū screamed at him to "shut the fuck up!" and "respect me, I'm your _senpai_!"

They ended up making Daichi mad shortly after that.

It took him a week after that conversation to find out that the princess by the window was closer that he thought.

There was really no particular deep reason about why he choose to run around the empty hallway that early morning. He just wanted to exploit the fact that he's pretty much free to do so.

On normal circumstances, teachers would scold him when he decide to pull a stunt like this but most of them didn't have the strength to deal with his boundless energy first thing in the morning. Yū took that to his advantage, of course. He practically flew through the hallway with his speed increasing as he neared his classroom.

His eyes caught sight of the open classroom door even before he neared it. That in itself was strange because not only was it common courtesy to close the door behind you, most of the students who had early morning clubs should be at their, well, respective clubs. (Except him. Practice was over in his case.)

It was indeed curious.

Grinning at the idea of catching someone doing an act that they shouldn't (because let's face it. That could only be the reason for a student to be this early) he increased his speed toward the classroom. Unfortunately for him he miscalculated his speed and went pass the door. The screeching sound that his shoes made possibly echoed throughout the vicinity and he slapped a hand over his face.

Yū inwardly cursed. He could almost hear Tsukishima say "way to go _**senpai**_. You've just informed the enemy of your arrival," in that condescending tone of his.

That statement hit a nerve even though it was just a product of his imagination.

No worries, he told himself. It wasn't like he stopped that far. With a few strides he could easily get to the door and maybe catch whatever heinous crime that was happening.

But there was no crime, he quickly found out.

There was no bald yakuza dude interrogating a poor high schooler like those he'd seen in movies, nor was there some type of cult preparing for their early morning ritual to curse their enemies. What he saw instead was something he least expected.

A lone girl was sleeping in her desk which was situated beside the window and was in direct line from the back door.

He couldn't see her face at first because it was buried deep in her folded arms but he easily took note of how disheveled she was. Strands of her hair were sticking all over the place, her uniform's blazer was crumpled and she was only wearing a single sock in her foot. It was almost as if she hastily put herself together and ran to the school. It didn't make sense, of course, considering the time. Yū contemplated on whether to make a sound and call out to her or just let her be.

In the end he didn't need to do either of the two because the girl had started to stir.

Yū didn't know what he was expecting. When he looked back at it, the moment was the perfect time to think of a faithful meeting between a boy and girl. That's how those cheesy dramas starts right? But he didn't think of it as such, too caught up with how messy this still unknown girl was. Yet it's when she finally rose up, eyes still closed, and fingers reaching up to wipe the sleep away that Yū felt his heart skip a beat and time ceased to exist.

Suddenly he's eight again and he's looking up toward the little girl sleeping soundly by the window.

But that uncrossable wall wasn't there this time and the obstacle in between them were nothing but neatly arranged chairs and tables. That instead of that dark and desolate room behind her, in its place were the large classroom windows where the sunshine was seeping through, giving her an ethereal glow that made Yū contemplate if he was still asleep and dreaming.

It was impossible for someone to look so enchanting and otherworldly especially in that very unalluring state. But here he was with his heart hammering hard in his chest and his mind completely blown away by the unnamed girl whose hair seemed to defy gravity.

Nobody has ever had this effect on him, not even Kiyoko who he was more than sure was his one true love.

He was completely speechless; blown out of his mind and even more so when she finally opened her eyes and locked in with his. The color was not what he was expecting. It was clear and bright like the sun rising above the horizon. It bore through his soul, held onto it, and cradled it in her arms and it was in that moment that he was more than convinced that this girl wasn't human.

But a simple "Hello?" proved him otherwise. It's her voice that brought him back to his senses and proved to him that yes, this was the real.

In the end all he could do was stutter something incoherent before fleeing like a madman after a classmate of hers made an appearance. Nishinoya Yū still couldn't believe the black cat by the window was proven to be a real person.

* * *

Her discovery of course lead to him to make dumb excuses just so he could catch a glimpse of her during lunchtime. Yū was still stoked that he hadn't known of her existence until that faithful morning. How could such a pretty girl even escape his radar?! It was just impossible!

But the more he observed her, the more he found out why.

It's when she's with her friends and how she seemed to disappear in the shadows—sometimes almost deliberately—that everything seemed to click. She was surrounded by all these bright personalities that always draw all sort of attention away from her and it's in their shadows that she seemed to like to stay. Unbeknownst to her though, once people do start noticing they wouldn't be able stop. That was just her effect on people.

That was the case with Yū at least.

He also found out that she was nowhere near his type. Yū liked girls who are like Kiyoko; shy and well-mannered. The type that seemed like they couldn't even dare hurt a single fly. The type that he just want to protect until the end of time.

That girl on the other hand was not like that. Their differences were more shown not from the way she talked but from the way she moved.

He'd seen her one lunchtime slouched on her seat, legs stretched and opened wide while flipping through a jump! magazine without much a care in the world. He remembered spouting some half-assed lie to Ryū about wanting bread from the cafeteria just to see her again. She wasn't in that disheveled state anymore (which was understandable because it's been three days since that incident) and if he thought she was pretty back then, she was beautiful now. But her soft features was the direct contrast of how she carried herself. He watched from his peripheral vision as her friend, a bubbly girl who sport a pair of pigtails, practically screeched at her to "close her damn legs" and "sit like a lady!"

Yū wasn't even aware of the amused smile on his face as he quickly made his way to the cafeteria.

The more his sneaking glances and dumb excuses increased the more he grew curious of the girl he first saw in his dream. He concluded during his so-called "observations" that instead of the "princess character" that he initially thought of her as, she was more of the "cool big brother" type which didn't make sense because first of all she was a girl. But it's when she would banter with her friend over things and how she would pat her on the head that made him come to that conclusion. With that being said, he was aware that simply deducing her personality from afar just wouldn't make do. He need to talk to her at some point.

The problem was he don't think his heart was ready for that yet. She was still a pretty girl and he'd rather not make a fool out of himself by being a bumbling idiot because he was way too nervous to talk to one.

Was this love? Yū was more than sure that it wasn't the case.

No matter what the strange and obscured drama the mothers in his community liked to watch may say, he was old enough to know and understand that nobody falls in love at first glance. It was even more impossible for him because he was sure if there's anyone that he actually "love" then it would definitely be Kiyoko.

It was just curiosity that drives him to want to see and talk to her. In his defense, anyone would be as intrigued as him if they found out that the person they dreamed of happened to be real. That doesn't stop him from being a flustered mess every time he thinks of approaching her though.

Either way he decided to devise a plan on how he should approach her. It needs to be perfect to avoid him making a fool out of himself, much like how he did the first time around.

The best he'd thought of was having her slip on something and him heroically coming to her aid and save her from falling. He imagined himself using his very special move—Rolling Thunder, Full Blast!—to run to her and have her fall into his arms. He'd picture them locking eyes and him, ever the handsome hero, would ask her if she's alright and she would swoon over how cool he was.

It was the perfect plan no matter how one would look at it. He have to thank those hand me downs shojō mangas from the women of his neighborhood. They deeply helped with his research.

Now the only problem was how he would put his plan into action. "How do you make somebody deliberately slip without them noticing?" That was the question Yū typed on his phone.

He had his nose stuck on the screen and was walking to the nearest vending machine. Lunchtime was almost over and usual, he excused himself from his friends to catch a glimpse of the "fair maiden" (as he used to refer to her as) in Class 1.

Unfortunately, she wasn't in her usual seat by the time he walked passed her classroom and Yū was more than disappointed. Lunchtime was the only time he could see her because he was always caught up in morning practice and she disappears like a bubble by the time school was over. So not seeing her slouched on her seat meant that he'd have to go through the rest of the day without seeing her.

Yū clicked his tongue in annoyance.

With his face stuck on his phone and him letting his feet lead him to the vending machine via sheer memory, he failed to see that not far from him stood the girl he had looked for. It's the soft blowing of the wind that brought him the word "oh" and his body immediately freezing as he realized who the owner of the voice was.

Maybe it would be comical to some with how he immediately went to a screeching halt at the sight of her, but his own action went over his head as he took in her appearance.

Even though she was simply wearing the customary girl's uniform and nothing more, Yū once again found himself speechless. Unlike from before, the distance between them was much closer and he could finally see the small freckle underneath her right eye. A beautiful mark he wished he'd noticed before. He also finally noticed that she's definitely a few centimeters taller than him, although he found himself not really minding it much. It wasn't like the difference was that big. With a few boxes of milk and his long-awaited growth spurt, he could easily catch up to her.

Then she did her strongest attack when his guard was low and his mind was calculating the number of boxed milk he needed to drink.

A pause before the most breathtaking smile that he had ever seen—next to Kiyoko's of course—slowly crossed the girl's features, and instantly, all his basic and logical reasoning flew straight to the window. He didn't even heard her utter her customary greetings. He simply had one thing in mind.

"Sleeping Beauty!" He screamed, using that name he first referred to her as, and crossed the small distance between them. Yū barely remembered the thing he spout when he got on his one knee and held her hand.

All he remembered was the shock on her face and the crow which cawed loudly overhead.

It was probably silent for more than a minute before she opened her mouth and said the words he was expecting "I'm sorry, I'm not really interested." And that stupid crow cawed again.

His—now that he'd realized, embarrassing—action slowly dawned into him, and the boy quickly grows red. Not only that he got flat-out rejected, he also made a huge fool of himself. So much for having an awesome plan.

"Well, have a great day!" Was the only thing he could reply before he was back to his two feet and ready to make his walk—run—of shame.

But alas, one mishap was never enough to satisfy the Gods. Just as he was in his hurry to save what's remained of his dignity, Nishinoya Yū slip on a banana skin—that he fucking swore wasn't there seconds ago. Of all cliche why it gotta be that?!—and started to fall.

For all his athleticism, there was no way he could avoid gravity as it continued to pull him backwards. Yū braced himself for the impact, tilting his body in the way he wouldn't suffer that many injury, but much to his surprise the impact never came. Instead he felt an arm wrap around his shoulder and stopped his fall. The smell of vanilla and strawberry immediately attacked his nostrils and he never thought such a sweet smell could be so intoxicating. The softness that he felt brushing against his arm didn't help calming his current state of mind and it became worse when he found his face closer to hers than he could ever imagined.

God, this girl was so impossibly beautiful. He remembered thinking.

"Are you okay?" Three words that might as well be spoken by an angel.

This was not right! Everything in this situation was not right! First of all, the roles were reversed! He should be the one holding her and stopping her fall! He's the hero for fucks sake! What kind of development was this?! There was no way his face could get redder than it already was!

"I-I... I—This ain't right!" Was all that he could scream before pushing himself forward and running as fast as his feet could, leaving the dumbfounded girl to stare at his disappearing form.

* * *

Okay, maybe their first real interaction wasn't the best but his name's not Nishinoya Yū if he were to give up that easily. His grandfather had drilled into his head that if he continued to be scared over everything, he was never going to be happy or enjoy his life to the fullest.

So even though he had been outright rejected he was about to march in toward her classroom. Ryū, who was very confused and shocked when he told him that he was going to man up and talk to a girl, was following him closely. He hasn't told his close friend the story yet but that was the least of his concern as he wordlessly entered Class 2-1 much to everyone's shock.

But none of them mattered because Yū's eyes were focused on the girl who had one feet propped up her seat, an opened bag of chips right in front of her, and was listening to her friend animatedly tell a story. Said friend was of course quick to shut up when she noticed him getting closer.

"Noya, what are you doing?!" He heard Ryū hissed behind him. He could hear the panic in his voice but to Yū this was a chance of a lifetime. It's either he do this or bust, there was nothing in between.

Of course when she finally turned her attention to him, he almost went to the bust route. Luckily his resolve stayed and he was standing right in front of her in no time. The surprise was very clear on her face, her bright eyes growing larger with recognition while her friend gasped and covered her mouth.

"Do you..." he started. He could easily feel how tensed the room had gotten as all eyes seemed to be on them, waiting for whatever it was that he needed from the girl. He knows what he was about to do was going to break the monotony within this place. There was barely any action that happens in this school and this small town and he was sure this story would spread like wildfire. But he doesn't care. He has to do this. He need to do this. Inhaling deeply, he finally uttered the words he had been practicing in front of the mirror.

"...like volleyball?"

And he swore everyone comically fell from their seat.


	4. Chapter 4

**There was an unbreakable wall looming before her.**

It was made of red bricks—the color had turned dull since its creation—and went as high and as far as one could see. She created it herself; spent the first three years after she turned eight slowly stacking up the stones until the blinding rays couldn't touch her anymore. The wall served as her own type of protection from the chaotic whirlpool of colors from the other side.

She learned at an early age that there's no one that could truly protect her but herself.

Colors were dangerous. They were like blazing flames that were beautiful but wouldn't hesitate to engulf a person the closer they get; like the sun that melted Icarus' wings when he got closer.

They weren't like her beloved monotone that cradled her lovingly in its arms, with its comfort highly comparable to that of a mother's touch, or a lullaby she always sings to lull her child to sleep.

They were chaotic and loud. They were always screaming, growing, always enticing before dragging their victim in a pit of hopelessness after the high was over. Nothing good was ever going to come out of growing that type of chaos within one's heart.

Maybe these words were nothing but an underachiever's rambling but to her defense, she had deep reasons to have this type of outlook in life. She didn't need to look further because she saw it at first hand and even without that experience, the television news don't tell a different story from the one she'd encountered. She'd lost count of the number of times she'd seen a story feature someone who'd dream too big only for it to be crushed mercilessly.

A heterochromatic world might be beautiful but it came with a pain that was more often too much to handle.

_She don't want that._

If staying in her monochromatic world meant that she wouldn't end up like Icarus then so be it. She'd rather lock herself in a dark cave where no colors could reach her and her wings, where she would forever sleep and be safe from the harshness of the outside world. Prevention was better than cure, after all. The pain she had tasted that came along that whirlwind of colors was more than enough. The colors didn't even directly came from her yet it still broke her to the point she started to create that unbreakable and impenetrable wall.

She had her out most confidence in that wall, of course. It's been proven (and tested) to withstand any attack from the ever so colorful people who for some strange reason decided to surround her. No amount of chaotic hues could graze its surface, she was sure of it.

But why does she feel so unsure as gaped at the boy before her.

"Do you like volleyball?" Was the question that came out of his mouth.

It caught her off guard, of course. By the way he walked, with all that confidence and determination flashing through his eyes, one would think he'd attempt to scream that out of the world confession again. It didn't even registered that he was talking to her until an uncomfortable silence passes by and Seiko nudged her on the arm.

She blinked a couple of times before finally opening her mouth. "I'm sorry," she apologized; twice now to the same person when she thought about it. "I don't really care about sports."

The way Seiko slammed her face on her desk told her she shouldn't have said that. She could already see her friend nagging her ears off when this boy leaves.

Surprisingly, although the shock was very clear on his face he didn't look to be put off by her words. Instead the fire in his eyes seemed to burn stronger. What was with this boy? She thought.

"What?!" He exclaimed and slammed his hands on her desk, successfully making Seiko squeak and slink into her seat. "Listen here, sports is great. Especially volleyball, okay?!" The boy continued and leaned in closer. Too close in fact that she could almost count the tiny blemishes on his face and feel his breath fan over hers.

"Noya!" His friend hissed behind him and she was now wholly aware of the attention they're slowly garnering. If he noticed it, he didn't show. Instead he leaned back grabbed a nearby empty chair. Nishinoya placed it directly in front of her and unceremoniously took a seat.

"It's all about the thrill of things!" He exclaimed excitedly with his hands flying all over the place. "When you're playing in a court and the ball stays in the air, you feel your heart leap through your chest. You get what I'm saying? It's when the excitement courses through your veins, with your heart beating hard and there's unity in your team! That's what makes Volleyball great!"

And then time seemed to stop and the world erupted with what she could only describe as two stars colliding and creating a galaxy.

It's the way he smiled, his cheeks bunching up and eyes crinkling, that made her recoil in her seat. Not in disgust. No, far from it. His smile was fiery and blinding and that was the reason she's suddenly enveloped by the extreme feeling of wariness.

Nishinoya Yū was dangerous.

People tended to glow in their own special way.

Kaito was reminiscent of an early morning dew and sunrise due to his ability to warm everyone up but lacked the burning prowess a full afternoon sun has. Usui burned as bright and harsh as a red rose, with her being the exact definition of the 'wild child' who simply wouldn't comply to the rules society had put up for her. And Seiko was akin to that of a sunshine in the midday, always so energetic and bright, her smile painting everyone's dull day with the warm color of yellow.

But this boy? He was entirely different.

He wasn't just a singular color, he was bursting in a million of them. Nishinoya was like an entire galaxy that's what filled with an immeasurable amount of stars, always changing and always burning. He was more than like the sun that melted Icarus' wings or the multi colored rainbow that served as the Gods' bridge to the other side.

The boy was the type to engulf anyone with his scorching flame and that thought alone made her want to runaway. She wanted nothing but to strengthen up her bricked wall in fear of having his flame destroying it.

"Oh, I know!" He exclaimed again and this time he took her hand into his. "You should watch us practice or come to our match! Then you'll see what I'm talking about!"

Ah, even his hand was as hot as his colors. It left her speechless.

"Noya!" His friend screamed and pulled him into a headlock. "Seriously, what are you doing?!" The boy with the buzzcut repeated his earlier question. "I am so sorry about this! He must have hit his head today!"

"Let me go, Ryū! I'm not done yet!" Nishinoya screamed back and squirmed in his grip. There was too much commotion happening and if it continued, she was sure it was going to attract the attention of the teachers. Her classmates and the few students who had gathered by the door seemed to enjoy this though. She could see them excitedly whispering and asking what was going on, no doubt this thing wouldn't die down for _weeks_.

Although shaken by the sheer character that was Nishinoya Yū, she knew she had to do something.

The girl sighed. "Nishinoya-san," She started, intent on putting this thing to an end that very moment. She already had a lot to worry about with the exams nearing and her trying to balance her part-time work with the things she had to do at home, having this situation hovering over her neck was the last thing that she needed. "I really don't care about volleyball or any other sports and I didn't understand any of the thing you just said." The girl said with the iciest tone she could muster.

Beside her, she heard Seiko exclaim her name; her tone similar to that of a mother scolding her child. The rest of the spectators were not so quietly murmuring to themselves about "wow, was that a direct rejection?" or "that was too cold!". Both of which were true.

Normally, she would try to be nice when dealing with scenarios similar to this—simply to not hurt the other person's feelings that much. She wasn't  _that_ horrible—but it has been made clear to her that Nishinoya Yū was someone who needed her words to be upfront.

Yet, as she looked into his eyes, she wondered if was that really enough?

"Not a problem!" he said loudly which earned a bunch of amazed gasp from the crowd. Nishinoya quickly escaped his friend's grip and stood right in front of her. "I just need to make you understand, right? Leave it to me!" Then that blinding and mind numbing grin found itself on his face again, rendering her almost immobile.

"... you." were the first word she managed to say after recovering from her initial shock. "Why are you so insistent about this?" The girl couldn't help but ask while racking her brain for the possible reason that lead to this. Aside from that early morning mishap, nothing came to mind. They've been complete strangers since their first year of high school and wasn't he supposed to be in love with a senior?

None of this made sense.

She, and everyone around them, waited with bated breath for his reply. He appeared to be assessing the question as he blinked multiple times. When he finally did gave her an answer, not only did it didn't gave her any sort of clarification, it made her heart—and the rest of the girls—skip a beat.

"It's because I dreamt of you," was all that he said and Nishinoya Yū looked brighter than the blazing sun above. If that was even possible.

It was quite amazing how he managed to say something so embarrassing without batting an eye but it sure did something. Beside her, she heard Seiko practically squeal and she was sure that the other girls were swooning in their own way. As for her, she could only stare at him with her jaw hanging.

Dreamt of her? That's got to be a pickup line or a joke, right? It's not like she hasn't heard of that line come out of a boy's mouth before. There were plenty of them from the dramas and movies her mother watches (pretty sure some of her suitors has said the same). To have it thrown to her face like she's some heroine of an obscured television show was something, to say the least.

Was that it? Was this boy simply imitating a scene from a movie he'd seen? If that's the case, why her? Why not do it to the girl he's supposedly head over heels with? None of this was making any sense.

In the end she wasn't able to say anything when a "what's going on here?!" boomed from the front door. There in his fake hair glory stood the vice principal. He roamed his eyes within the classroom and when they finally landed on the duo from the other class, his face contorted into pure anger that made him look like an ogre.

"You again!" He screamed and pointed at Nishinoya. His companion was the one who quickly made a move and practically dragged him out by his collar, screaming something about "Daichi is going to be mad!" and ignored the vice principal who called for them to stop.

There was an uncomfortable silence that stayed in the classroom after the intruders left. All of them werentrying to digest what had just transpired. But that silence was quickly destroyed when everyone erupted into excited chatters. They ranged from "Woah, what the hell was that? That's got to be a skit, right?!" to "I never knew Nishinoya-san could be so romantic!" while she was still glued to her seat.

Of course it didn't took long for her friends and classmates to come to her and bombard her with questions. Seiko was beaming and rambled about how that was so sweet and romantic, Usui was just grinning at her cheekily, Kaito was a blubbering mess and the rest of them were simply squealing and commenting about everything. The girl was suddenly the center of attention.

She on the other hand couldn't share that excitement. The girl felt wary of the attention she was suddenly given. It made her nervous knowing that this had leaned far back from her routine. She gnawed at her lower lip in worry; an act nobody noticed because they were too busy replaying Nishinoya's words and actions.

Suddenly, the heavy feeling in her heart returned and seemed to be heavier than before.

* * *

It was no use, she was way too distracted for her own good. She would usually find comfort in the quiet pop music playing from the store's stereo but she found it irritating, especially with how it was singing about love. She'd rarely scowl at things but that wasn't the case that night as she glared at the innocent machine from where she was squatting.

She was given the simple task of restocking the canned tomato soup but even that proved to be difficult when her mind was filled with impromptu confessions and smiles that would put the sun to shame. "This is stupid," she grumbled which earned her a snicker from her only companion inside the store.

It was normal to have the convenience store empty at this time of the night despite it being only eight in the evening. After all, this place wasn't like Tokyo that was bustling with life where every places seemed to be packed with people. There was a reason the closing time was ten pm; a little later in comparison to the ones nearer in the much more rural places thanks to it being near the city proper, but still quite early if you compare it to stores in Tokyo. "Life simply starts early and ends early around here," she remembered her manager saying as he opened a can of beer during a particularly slow night.

"You should see your face right now. It's priceless." Usui commented from her spot near the counter.

It was usual for the girl to bother her during her work hours as she lived nearby but seeing her dressed in her high-waisted jeans, white cropped top and red coat, she knew she wouldn't be staying for too long. The girl, whose natural black hair she dyed in deep auburn red, has a habit of chasing dreams that most adults thought of as stupid. She always talked of leaving this small town and making a name for herself in the field of music, much to her parents' distaste who want her to attend college and be a civil servant.

Maybe that's why she was chasing these unreachable dreams to begin with. To prove that she could do so much more than getting stuck in an office job. But that's exactly why she was so charming and glowed in deep red, the girl thought.

That night particularly she spoke of sneaking in a rave party with her sister and her college friends at a nearby city. Apparently, some producer from Tokyo was attending and she would be "dumb if she let that opportunity pass," as she told her earlier.

"If you got so much time to spare how about helping me here?" She said while giving the other girl a very unamused look. What she in turn got was a very unattractive snort and a roll of her eyes.

"No way, I don't work here." The girl said and made her way to the aisle where she was squatting. Usui randomly picked a canned food and amused herself by reading the ingredients. It was quiet again after that and the girl merely sighed and resumed with her work. That until her friend opened her rouge painted lips and ruined the quiet of the night. "You know volleyball does sound like a fun sport."

The glare she gave her could freeze Hell itself. Usui raised both of her hand in surrender but the grin she has said that she's not the littlest bit apologetic.

"I'm glad my misery gives you amusement." she grumbled as she finished stacking the last of the canned soup. The girl stood up and dusted her pants, ready to move on to the next task. Usui of course tailed her even inside the stockroom and watched her fold the carton box to be dispose of later.

"Don't be like that," she said as she leaned on wall. "You've got to admit that Nishinoya have some guts to pull that off. I actually felt my heart skip a beat!" Usui, whose grin seemed to grow wider, exclaimed in mock amazement which in turn doubled her exhaustion. God, she couldn't wait to get home and pretend this was just a bad dream.

"I still don't get it," She replied with a tired sigh. "Why me?"

And without missing a beat Usui said, "It's because he dreamed of you."

"Aren't you supposed to be somewhere else?" The girl asked with a deadpanned look. On most days Usui's presence was nothing but a regular distraction; not unwanted but she also wouldn't brood over not seeing her mug. That night though, she proved to be a pain in her ass and she wished the girl would just leave.

"Sis said they're still waiting for her friend to be done with her class," she replied. "But that's beside the point! In all seriousness, what are you going to do?" Usui finally questioned, pertaining to the obvious problem at hand.

What was she's going to do? Wasn't the answer obvious? There were various ways that she could deal with this if she were to base it on experience. Truth be told Nishinoya wasn't the first person to confess or show interest in her. He was just the first person to do so in such an eccentric way that warranted her in telling her friends about it.

There seemed to be a good amount of them during middle school; when she first transferred into this town with her mother who was hoping for a fresh start. Nobody knew about this of course. She didn't see any reason to tell anyone (not even Seiko) because she know it wouldn't matter either way.

She would reject them but after couple of weeks things would go back to the way it was, with those people moving on to the next girl who caught their attention and her back to her little world. She'd always known that those people had "liked" her for reasons that she wouldn't have accepted. The girl asked one of them once. "Why do you like me?" to which the boy replied something about her being cool and having an aura that wasn't common in the girls in their grade.

It made sense to her then.

People seemed to see her in rose-colored glasses because she was from Tokyo and nothing more. These same people were the type that would immediately turn away the moment they realized how dull she actually was, or how it was almost impossible for her to fit that role of a girlfriend from a big city like the ones they'd seen on televisions. She simply wasn't like that.

She had given up on even thinking of giving any of them chances after that. Opting to just ignore and brush off the glances she'd learn to understand the meaning of, as well as the letters that were put in her shoe locker. They would eventually grow tired of the lack of attention and move on to the real girl who would reciprocate their feelings. They always do.

That's exactly what she was going to do.

"I'll just ignore him," she voiced out. "You said it yourself, he like someone else. If I don't give him the time of the day then he'll eventually grow tired of whatever it is that he's trying to accomplish. Either way," a pause as she walked pass the girl to get back inside the store, having been done with her task. "It's a win-win situation for the both of us." Then an empty hollow smile made its way to her face.

"I wonder about that," Was all that Usui said before following her.

The conversation drifted to something else shortly after that and another half an hour passed by before her sister finally showed her face. Usui bid her good-bye, with her telling the girl to be careful, and boarding the back of small pickup truck brought by one of her sister's friends.

She watched from her place behind the register as the vehicle made a turn until completely disappearing from her sight. Finally she was alone. Yet unlike the previous night shifts she'd handled, the quiet of the night was slowly getting unbearable. Which didn't make sense because she loved these times, when she's left to her own devices and seemed to be alone in her own little world.

But did that little world shrunk to the point that it had started to suffocate her? Or was it something else? Like some unforeseen force trying to claw inside her world and was slowly succeeding? If so was simply ignoring it would fix the problem? She didn't know what to do anymore.

"It's getting harder to breathe..." She murmured to no one and held both her hands near her chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love noya so much wwwwwww


	5. Chapter 5

**It was impossible to ignore a perfect storm.**

She was aware of this. The chances of someone escaping and not getting caught up with it was slim to none. The storm was going to cause destruction to everything that it touches. No matter how fast they might try to run or hide, they're still going to be eaten by it.

Nishinoya Yū was a perfect storm.

It didn't need a genius to figure that out.

She knew she told Usui that if she ignored him then he'll eventually disappear but that proved to be easier said than done. Nishinoya simply don't disappear. It also didn't help that her friends were practically in love with him (especially Kaito, that ass.) She should've known that he was going to attack her head on with that same ferocity that he had when he marched into her classroom.

His attacks wasn't subtle, not even the slightest bit.

It started after the weekend was over. The girl was already expecting the teasing she received from her classmates first thing in the morning and she felt her exhaustion climb out of its hiding place and devour her. She quietly wondered the consequences of taping their mouth shut and how long the jail time would be by doing so. But their teasings was nothing compared to what Nishinoya had done beforehand.

Taking a detour before going to her class was nothing new, especially when she have like ten or so minutes to spare. She always made sure that she had a taste of her favorite strawberry milk before starting her day.

So there she was standing in front of the vending machine, drowsily sipping on said milk, when she heard somebody loudly screamed her first name. The sound not only nearly made her drop her drink, it also made her soul jump a few feet high. She had her free hand clutch the cloth on her chest when she looked toward the source of that ungodly sound.

And there he was, absolutely beaming at her while waving his hand excitedly. "Good morning!" he screamed again and dashed toward her with what could only be the speed of light.

Kaito's previous ramblings about the so-called "Flightless Crows" the night after that confession resonated inside her head. He said something about Karasuno's volleyball team being one of the top teams at one point, or, or—honestly she can't remember how the rest of the conversation went. It was mostly the boy who rambled about it in their LINE group until Usui rudely cut him off by saying she wanted to watch this new movie starring this one actor whose name she barely remembered.

If there's one thing that stuck though was how he referred to the volleyball members as "Crows". It made sense if one were to take the School's literal name in consideration. Although if there's one thing she refused to acknowledge was the possibility of Nishinoya being the embodiment of that little crow she dreamt of. She believed that by doing so she's going to be playing into that whole "dreamt of you" narrative and she was way too much of a realist to believe that things such as fate exist.

Besides, Nishinoya was more of an excitable dog than a crow; something very small like a Pomeranian. The girl thought while she swiftly avoided the boy when he dove toward her. It wasn't deliberate. Her body simply reacted on its own, she swear. She was almost apologetic when he face planted on the wall but he was back to his footing before she could do so.

"That's dangerous," she half-heartedly commented to which he completely ignored.

"Are you here to watch us practice?" Nishinoya asked with his chest puffed proudly. It took a bit time for his words to sink in. It wasn't until the faint sound of shoes skipping and balls hitting the wooden floor that, shit, she finally noticed that she was near the gymnasium. Nishinoya himself was dressed in what she could assume as his practice clothes and has beads of sweat running on the corner of his face.

Maybe it was because of her half-asleep state that she didn't realize where she was but it sure did brought her trouble. So much for ignoring him. She ran straight to the shark's mouth, didn't she?

The girl could only sigh. "No, I'm not. Bye, Nishinoya-san." She said as she readies to leave. At least that was the plan until he grabbed her by the wrist.

"Well, you're already here. Come and meet everyone!" He said, beaming in a way that nearly blinded her. Ah, she really don't like his smile. The girl thought. It was just too much for her in every sense. She was hoping there would be an On and Off switch for it then she wouldn't suffer so early in the morning.

"I don't really thin—" and she wasn't able to finish her words because he was already dragging her toward the gymnasium entrance.

There was two-way she could deal with this. The first one involved her tugging her hand away from his grasp and telling him to get lost and hopefully put a stop to whatever this was. The second option was to simply let him do whatever he pleases with her. The first option was obviously the ideal one. It was the easy route and the one that would benefit her in the long run.

The problem with it was, well, Nishinoya hasn't done anything major for her to treat him like that. She don't consider herself to be a cold person, she was just mostly indifferent if she was being honest. That being said, it didn't mean that she never get angry. She do, but it take a lot for her to reach that point. So far she's not angry at Nishinoya. Just somewhat annoyed and her annoyance wasn't enough for her to lash on the poor boy.

So in the end she had no choice but let him drag her away while her half-drank strawberry milk was still in her hand.

Embarrassing was the only word she could use to describe how she felt when the entire team gawked at her. She wasn't sure if Nishinoya was oblivious to the implications of him loudly and excitedly announcing her presence—with his hand still wrapped around her wrist, mind you—or he was just the type to impulsively do whatever comes to mind and thinking about the possible consequences after. At the back of her mind, she was sure it was the latter.

Oh how she wished for God to free her from her mortal coil when he excitedly introduced each and everyone from the team to her. It was just way too early in the morning to have so many questioning eyes trained toward her.

There were some familiar faces. Like guy who was with him that day for one, or the others whom she recognized as their fellow second years and a few seniors. The rest was unfamiliar faces, presumably the first years. He recited their names but it was hard to remember them when their eyes were glued on Nishinoya's hand on her wrist.

They were definitely getting the wrong idea.

Her suspicions were confirmed when the short boy with orange hair beamed and innocently exclaimed "Your girlfriend is very pretty, Nishinoya-senpai!" She really want the ground to eat her then. Not only did that statement embarrassed her further—with the only thing she could do was cover her reddening cheeks with her free hand (a feat considering she's still holding her boxed milk)—she inwardly asked herself which deity did she really angered for her to be subjected to this type of torture.

The fact that Nishinoya reacted far worse than she did, literally flushing red from his head to toe before removing his grip like he's been burned, proved to her that her earlier guess about him being impulsive as right. She bet he didn't even thought how it would look like to an outsider's perspective when a boy introduces a girl to his friends with such enthusiasm.

"G-g-girlfriend?!" He screamed so loudly that she was mildly concerned about her eardrums breaking.

Then as if just realizing it, one of the second years slammed his fist on his open palm. "Aren't you the girl from Class 1? The one Nishinoya confessed to last Friday?" he questioned but before she could even answer that, another one familiar face interjected by saying "Was that even a confession? he only asked her if she likes Volleyball and shit." Shortly enough, everyone got into a conversation pretty much detailing whatever happened back then.

She just want to get to her class at this point because she could feel an incoming headache.

"She's not my girlfriend!" Nishinoya suddenly screamed, startling nearly everyone. His face was still in that red color but he looks less flustered. "K-kiyoko-san! Please don't believe them! You're the only one for me!" He continued and ran toward the girl who was holding a notebook. She watched in mild amusement as the girl straight up told him she don't care.

So that's the girl Usui spoke of, she thought. She was undeniably beautiful, the type that would turn heads when she walks by. She reminded her of those models in the magazines Usui brings. Not the hardened, cool ones, but those who dawns dresses with floral patterns while they frolic around the meadows.

And she happened to also gave her the chance to escape.

The words "Nice to meet you but I need to go," quietly left her mouth and was directed to a tall boy with glasses, presumably a freshman? She wasn't entirely sure but he was the closest to her, before she turned around and leave without even waiting for a reply.

Maybe it was weird to run like she was being chased by some unknown entity but she couldn't let herself be caught by Nishinoya again. Dealing with a storm was too much for her to handle especially when it's still so early in the morning. And she still needed to finish her damn milk.

* * *

Throughout the course of the week, the girl decided that she needed new friends, someone who wouldn't enjoy torturing her to be specific.

She know what they were trying to do, especially Seiko. She was sure she was waiting for this chance to have a boy arrive and play the role of "prince charming" in her dull and boring life. More often than not she wished the girl would just give up. What was so wrong with wanting to die alone? She wasn't looking for a guy to sweep her off her feet, she just want to stay behind her walls. That was it. And she was sure Nishinoya wasn't there to play that role either. She still couldn't decipher what his actions meant but seeing him fawn over Kiyoko made it known to her that the reason wasn't romantic.

So why?

Why did he approach her, scream how beautiful she was and ask her to go out with him? Why did he made a scene just to talk about how amazing Volleyball was? Why do he excitedly scream her name when he sees her in the halls? Why was he eating with them during lunchtime like what he was doing now?! Ah, what has she done to deserve this?!

If God was truly real, he needed to give her answers!

"The Inter High Preliminaries are nearing, aren't they? Are you guys ready?" It was Kaito who asked the question. Nishinoya, who was sitting directly in front of him in their makeshift lunch table, immediately stopped devouring his lunch like there's no tomorrow and said "Yeah!" while his mouth was still full.

She inwardly cringed at the action because there's nothing that she really hate than people who speak with food in their mouth. Absolutely barbaric, she thought. Usui and Seiko though didn't seem to share her views as they giggled/snickered in unison at his antics. The girl really need to get herself a new set of friends.

"Our goal is to reach the Nationals and I'm confident that we will!" He proudly said and ah, there was that look again. It was the same as the one he wore when he rambled about volleyball the first time around. "We might've lost to Date Tech the last time but I'm a hundred percent sure that's not going to be the case this time around."

"Wow, really confident are we?" Usui whistled as she opened her bottled iced tea. "That's kind of admirable."

"I heard that the first years are quite strong. Like Kageyama Tobio who was from Kitagawa Daiichi. He was called as the King of the Court. A shame about his last match though! I was there when that happened." Kaito then saw this as his chance to showcase his extensive knowledge about sports (or gossip, whichever one would prefer.) Even his round glasses were glinting like he's some _megane_ character from an anime.

"Ooh, you seem to know a lot! Are you a fan?!" Nishinoya asked which turned Kaito into a bumbling mess; saying something about he really just like sports in general and was up to date with the current news and whatnot. That of course seemed to delight the smaller boy who proceeded to him proudly state that their third years were also a force to be reckoned with. "Just you watch, we'll get to the Nationals and we'll win that championship." The boy said with his eyes glinting like it held a million stars in the sky.

She didn't know what compiled her to say something.

All throughout the time he had invaded her space, she had been successful in acting that he didn't exist. Admittedly, it was hard to do so when he's directly speaking to her but she managed to simply give him a look and pretend not hear anything. If her mother were to hear about this she would surely be disappointed and say "I don't remember raising such a rude child!" before pouting and crossing her arms like a little kid.

The girl wasn't proud of it, really. But there was just something about Nishinoya that unsettled and made her raise her guard to the maximum.

So it was a surprise to everyone including her when she blurted "Dreaming so high will just leave you disappointed." She didn't mean to say it out loud. In fact she didn't realize she said it out loud until their table went uncomfortably silent.

"I see," were the first words that came out of his mouth. "So you don't think we can do it?" If there was something that surprised her, it was that he didn't look the littlest bit offended. Instead, he appeared to be challenging her with the question.

There's something about that tone that ground her gears. She's already started this, she might as well go through it. She thought that maybe if she pissed him enough then he would finally leave her alone. "Perhaps," She said. "I don't expect much from a team coined as 'the fallen champions' or something who'd been losing these past years." The girl continued, using the information Kaito gave them. There was a bite to her tone that she deliberately added knowing it was going to easily get under his skin.

The scolding tone simultaneously used by Kaito and Seiko—they really do like acting as her parents, don't they?— was to be expected. Maybe she had crossed that invisible line because the smile on Nishinoya face fell and his expression morphed into something unreadable that made her regret talking in the first place.

The girl could feel the guilt that's rising up her throat.

"You may be right," Nishinoya spoke before she could take back her words and apologize. "There is a high chance that we're going to lose to Date Tech again, or something else could happen that will not go our way. I don't dismiss that possibility." He continued, this time that expression was replaced by something she could only describe as pure determination. "But there's also the possibility of us winning against them. Maybe it's true that the basis of your lack of faith against us are due to the losses the team had acquired and I wouldn't blame you for that..." There's a pause and he diverted his attention forward, like he was seeing a view that no one else could.

"But things are not always going to be the same!" Nishinoya exclaimed and she once again saw that endless galaxy swimming in his eyes that made part of her heart ache. Huh? She paused. Why did it do so? "Change is inevitable. An underdog is not always going to stay as one. Just because you'd been pushed down multiple times that doesn't mean you needed to paint the world in black and white. You always have a choice. You either strive to be a better person or stay as an underdog for the rest of your life; always letting that fear of things not going your way consume you."

Ah, there was that painful clenching of her heart again. It was like there was a hundred hands simultaneously grabbing and squeezing it as his words rang loudly in her ears. She hated it. It made her feel like she was drowning and no one could see it, or refused to for that matter. It activated her fight or flight instinct and the overwhelming feeling of disappearing overcame her.

That's right. She wanted to disappear.

"For someone so tiny, you sure talk big." Was all that she could say. She couldn't bring herself to give him a response and she was afraid that uttering a single word would result into something she'll regret. There was that feeling of the world closing in on her that she can't seem to escape from and she just knows she needed to go. Nishinoya's "What did you say?! You're looking for a fight?!" was wholly ignored when she stood up from her seat and made a motion of leaving.

"Where are you going?" Seiko asked with worry clear on her face.

The girl flashed her friend a reassuring smile, hoping that it'll wipe that frown off her face. "Toilet, I need to take a piss." She said in a way that normally would earn her a scolding, something about her unladylike manners and how she should tone it down, but her friend merely stared at her with that same look.

She didn't say anything after that nor did she acknowledged the look the others were giving her.

The girl merely and quietly walked out of the classroom. She was aware that she was running away from that conversation and she also know that Nishinoya was right about his sentiments. Even though he said it in a way that she thought was borderline preachy—something that she absolutely hate—she didn't dismiss the truth of it all. But she wasn't in the mood to have that conversation or lay her heart out to someone she barely knows.

So if running away meant she would keep that boy from putting a crack to her world then so be it. She was going to run as far as how long her legs would take her.

(She didn't saw him that afternoon much to her relief. She was also thankful that none of her friends mentioned the awkward lunch that they had. Although she didn't miss how Seiko was more touchy than usual or how her hugs were tighter than the ones she usually gave. She was bothered by it and at the back of her mind, the girl couldn't help but blame Nishinoya for it.

It was wrong to do so, she was aware. But if he hadn't barged into her life-like the way he did, then they wouldn't have that conversation in the first place. She was right. Nishinoya Yū was nothing but trouble.)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry for not updating for nearly two months asdffjhkjhjgiug

**She once again dreamt of that little crow and that dark forest.**

Compared to before, she wasn't lying down this time around. She was sitting directly in front of the bird without saying a single word. And as it stared back at her with its dark and hallow eyes, she was strangely reminded of a certain someone.

It was as if the little animal was challenging her. To what exactly? She doesn't know. Yet there was something about that little eyes of his that's telling her to open her mouth and say something.

The forest was still dark, it was still cold and lonely. Despite of that, something has definitely changed. Underneath that little crow's-feet the grass was bright green and full of life. It was the direct contrast of the forest they're in and in a sense, a direct contrast of her and that short boy who was nothing but bright and fiery.

"Please disappear." Were the words that she wanted to say. Yet, it was also these words that she never did say.

No matter how much she wanted to. How much risk she was willing to take just for her to be able to, no words came out of her mouth. It was almost as if her body itself refused to tell that little crow to get lost and never show its face to her ever again.

"...you," she was finally able to utter a word, albeit not without any difficulty. "...why won't you disappear?" It was nothing but a whisper. Just a soft breeze leaving her mouth with no one to hear but her little companion.

The crow did not respond.

The dark forest was quiet as how it has always been. There was no wind, the leaves on the trees were on a standstill. This place was as lifeless as the heart she'd long since buried. People like her don't need a heart, she was sure of it. That was the only way she could truly love her everyday monotony. A heart makes a person crave for more things in life and with that want comes the need for a change, the only thing she never want to happen.

At least that's what she thought.

"...I don't want to change." The girl continued. "What's so wrong with wanting to stay the way I am?"

The little crow finally moved, with each step it took it painted the dull grass-green. "There's none." It finally spoke. The voice highly reminiscent of that boy with a spirit far too big for his own good.

"Tell me, is it really change that you're scared of?" It asked. "Or it is something else?"

"You..." it paused. "... what is it that you're actually running away from?"

She woke up a minute shy away from the alarm she had set the night before. The digital clock glared 5:45 in the morning, five minutes before the time she's supposed to wake up. She sighed heavily and the memory of her dream comes back rushing in. The girl tried not to think of the question the little animal asked her. It wasn't like she thought of it as irrelevant, far from it. She knows the answer to that question. She always had. And for the longest time she forced herself not to think about it.

The girl lied there until her alarm finally rang; a loud reminder of why she had to wake up so early that morning. She heaved a deep breath before finally getting off her bed. She wasn't going to let some bizarre dream affect her because that was all it was; a dream.

She took a quick shower and changed into her school uniform before finally knocking on her Mother's room. "It's morning," the girl said as she opened the door and approach the big lump of blanket on top of her bed. It stirred for a bit but didn't make any more movements after that. Sighing, she placed her hand on top of it and shake it, earning a whine of sort from the woman beneath it. "You need to be in Tokyo this afternoon, right? You have to wake up or you'll be late."

"...five more minutes, please?" She could almost hear the pout in her voice.

Rolling her eyes, she shakes the woman even more. "If you sleep more now you'll be caught in traffic and you will be late. Then you will have to call me crying 'cause grandma scolded you."

That seemed to work because shortly after her Mother's face peeked from her blanket. "So mean," she said pouting. The girl's only response was to snort and motions her head to the door.

"You'll thank me later," she said. "Come on. I'll prepare your lunchbox." The girl added with a smile. She didn't wait for the older woman's response and went straight to the kitchen.

The roles were reversed on normal days, with her being on the bargaining side asking for more minutes of sleep, but that day her mother had business to attended to back in Tokyo where most of their relatives are still living. In a sense, said business also had something to do with her. She was still part of that family no matter how much she had detached herself from it. Years of dry responses and mostly ignored messages wouldn't change how she was still related to those people.

"What is it that you're actually running away from?" The question once again invaded her mind and she tried her best to push it back. She don't want to think about it especially when the sun has barely risen.

So, after connecting her phone to the Bluetooth speaker in the living room and playing something from her favorite artist, she started to prepare her Mother's lunchbox. It was unnecessary if she was being honest. Knowing her grandmother, she will most definitely prepare a lunch for her beloved daughter-in-law befitting of a queen. Yet the woman has a strange fondness for all the mediocre tasting food she makes and always asks her to prepare her a lunchbox every time she needed to leave for Tokyo. It didn't make sense because the woman was definitely the better cook but she'd long since gotten used to her antics and don't question her motives anymore.

The quiet sound of a ballad song mingled with the sound of her whisking the egg for a sweet egg roll filled the house. Outside, the birds had started to sing their early morning song and it was easy to note how their neighbors had begun with their own version of morning routine. Aside from the two elderly, they were never the quiet bunch.

She almost smiled when the woman of the house screamed at her children to get up until a single unusual sound destroyed her peaceful morning. A crow cawed loudly, seemingly from afar and there was a part of her that wondered how she was even able to hear it. The girl stilled at the sound. Her mind was once again invaded by that dream. She hated how it have such a strong impact on her.

How her heart clenched painfully with the memories she'd long since decided to forget. How was it that stupid dream and that stupid crow was able to dig it from where she had buried it? What was the point of it all? What was the point of remembering that person's smile or that place when it was just going to evoke such painful feelings inside of her? She was doing fine without them, wasn't she? She was moving on. She was healing, she was sure she was. And yet, for it to resurface in this way, how was she supposed to interpret it?

The girl closed her eyes and took multiple deep breaths. The burning underneath her eyelids was threatening to burst and she needs to resolve it before her mother sees it. The last thing she wanted to do was to make her worry.

But maybe it was too late for that.

"Something is burning!" Screamed the woman while she ran downstairs. That woke the girl up from her stupor and cringes upon seeing the blackened egg in the pan. She hurriedly turned the stove off just as the woman missed a step and lands face down. Her loud whine was enough for her to rush to where the older woman had stumbled down.

"I told you not to run inside the house." She scolded to which the woman answered her with pout and tear-stained cheeks. That sight alone made guilt eat the girl up knowing that she was also a part of this. She noted how she seemed to have haphazardly thrown her clothes which made the girl even more guilty.

"But I smelled something burning!" The woman reasoned out. This made her sigh and throw an apologetic smile toward her.

"I'm sorry. It was the eggs." she said. "I was just spacing out. I guess I'm still a little sleepy." The lie easily escaped her mouth along a reassuring smile to make it believable. Her mother stared at her face for moment, possibly searching for a sign that would give way to her lie, but when she found none, the woman beamed at her and ruffled her hair.

Her mother giggled. "I'm sorry you had to wake up so early for me. I promise to make it up to you." The woman continued before allowing herself to be picked up from the ground by her daughter. She immediately pulls the younger into a warm tight hug. It made the girl wonder if she saw through her façade, but her mother didn't say anything and allowed herself to melt into her embrace; her scent calming the storm that had brewed within her.

She was alright. She was going to be fine. She was not going to let any dream affect her anymore. She was sure of it.

* * *

Studies has shown that a prey would go to hiding if it's being threatened by a predator. Maybe it was too much of a stretch to compare her situation with Nishinoya to that of a predator and prey dynamic, but that was the first thing that came to mind. Although she did noticed some changes but more so on her friends' part.

Ever since that "argument", if you could even call it that, Seiko and Kaito seemed to always be on the edge. It was pretty obvious how they would always divert the conversation to something else when it would lean-to anything sports related. If Nishinoya noticed it, he didn't show. Her on the other hand couldn't take it anymore. It was hard to eat her lunch when people were making it obvious that they feel like they're walking on eggshells around her.

So, she took it upon herself to fix the problem.

No, she didn't face her friends. She didn't think it was that much of a deal that would call for a confrontation. The girl did what she do best, that was to avoid and run away from her problem.

A quick lie of "I didn't bring my lunch so I'll just buy bread from the cafeteria," was thrown when the bell rings then she would disappear for the rest of the break. When asked where she'd been she'd just smile at them and spit another lie. Whether they believe her or not, it doesn't matter to her anymore. Maybe in this way Nishinoya would finally get the message and leave. At the back of her mind, she wondered if they'll eventually grow tired of it.

Maybe, she should slowly detach herself from them so it wouldn't hurt as much when that day finally comes.

Then the girl realized how horrible it was for her to think that way. It was almost an instant reaction and she felt guilty assuming they will eventually leave her, especially Seiko who was the very first friend she made after moving here. In her mind, her words of "I'm really the worse," rang loudly. But that's the problem, wasn't it? She acknowledged that yet wouldn't do anything about it.

"What are you actually running away from?"

 _A lot of things,_ the girl thought as she went out to find a place to hide. Somewhere where she could find a manifestation of her bricked wall and shade herself from Nishinoya Yū's colors.

She purposely avoided places that were too obvious like the rooftop (she was also sure that students are not allowed to stay there), or the cafeteria where they would likely to search first.

No, it needed to be hidden but accessible to a normal student like her. She eventually found it nearly an hour after classes were over. It was on the back of the farthest building from hers that she finally found the embodiment of her wall. The first thing that she noted were the broken chairs that were stacked on each other, building dust as they go on completely forgotten by those that threw them in this place. They were from the old demolished building from last year, she realized. She always wondered what happened to the rest of the furniture inside, guess she had her answer. The girl found a single chair that was still in an okay condition to sit on, albeit with one crooked leg that made it lean a little to left.

And so she found a place to hide, like a little prey who was afraid of getting eaten by a predator, and away from the friends she know she'd disappointed.

Their questions didn't stopped until the fourth day when she thinks they finally understood what was happening. She wasn't proud of her actions but ever since Nishinoya came, her life had been in a complete mess. Maybe it was weird and unfair to blame the sudden resurgence of buried memories on him but she was so lost that it was the only thing she could do. Deep down inside she knows she was just looking for someone to blame.

But there was a mysterious force of nature that told her that she wouldn't be able to runaway forever.

That force manifested itself during the fifth day when she was sitting on that broken chair and staring at the blue sky cloudless sky. Her half drank strawberry milk lied in between her palms. Said palms twitched when she heard the incoming footsteps. To her distaste, the person she wanted to see the least was making his way toward her.

"I've never said it before but you're really like a cat." Nishinoya started with that grin of his. The reply he got was a hard glare with a hint of confusion, as if asking him what the hell he was talking about. "Oh, didn't you know? Cats like to hide in places where no one could see them." The statement alone made her cheeks reddened before she glared even harder.

"If I'm a cat then what does that make you?" She spat. "Oh, don't answer that. I know a stalker when I see one." The girl huff before bringing the straw of her drink to her lips.

There was something satisfying when Nishinoya turned beet red, started sputtering, and pointed at her with accusatory finger. "I'm not a stalker!" He exclaimed. "Just so you know it was Usui who followed you and told me where you've been hiding!"

That made the girl stop on her action.

 _Of course_ , she thought. There was no way that she could find a place where no one were to find her.

When was she followed? Was it yesterday? Or was it the day after she found this dumpster? She wanted to laugh at her naïvety. She was so sure that none of her friends know about this place. Oh, how stupid she must've looked.

Upon not getting any response from the girl, Nishinoya let out a drawn out sigh and stuffed his hands in his pant's pocket. She could feel his eyes on her and she resisted the urge to look up and return his stare in fear that he'll see through her that very moment.

She never liked to be seen in her most vulnerable state.

Above them a jet plane roared and cut through the silence that had enveloped the two teenagers. It left a white line in its trail, like a blade slicing through the cloudless sky which was the exact opposite of her heart that was in a constant state of unending storm and skies full of dark grey clouds.

"Look," the boy finally spoke when the silence became unbearable. Nishinoya was shifting his weight from one foot to another, looking quite uncertain. This surprised the girl because from what she'd seen so far, he was always the definition of confidence. He was always speaking whatever it was on his mind and the way he was hesitating was a bit uncharacteristic. "Ah, fine! I'm just gonna say it!" He screamed.

"I know you don't like me, okay?" Nishinoya said. "You made it really obvious. I've thought about it but I still can't think of a reason. I know I haven't done anything because I would've own up to it at this point," he paused and rubbed the back of his neck. "When I opened up about this to the rest of my teammates, they told me it's because I'm annoying! Can you believe that?!"

She couldn't even stop the laugh that escaped her mouth. The girl quickly tried to hide it by covering half of her face with her hand and looking away, but the boy had already seen it. That made a small smile break into Nishinoya's face before he turned serious again.

"So I want to know why?" He finally asked. "Why do you hate me so much that you would go this far?"

Hate? No, hate was such a strong word. It wasn't exactly what she would use to describe what she truly felt toward the boy. It wasn't to that extent. "I don't hate you," she admitted after a long pause. "It's just... I," you're not the problem here. Was what the girl wanted to say but lacked the courage to say so. Nishinoya was never the problem, it was always her.

"I see..." the boy said and didn't even masked how relieved he felt. Nishinoya Yū was like an open book. He don't have anything to hide, he doesn't run away from anything and faces all his demons head on. She wondered how that felt like; to have so much courage within you. "But you still have a problem with me, don't you? If you don't hate me then what is it?" The boy continued and wore this serious expression she'd never seen on him from the short time they'd known each other.

There was no way she could be honest with him, she knows this. If she admits that being around him makes her think that her walls was gonna crumble down, that she's going to lose her slow and monotonous life, she's just going to embarrass herself more than she already does.

So, she instead decided to answer his questions with a question. "What about you?" She asked. "If you know I have a problem with you then why do you still hang around and talk to me like we're friends?"

That seemed to caught him off guard. A late spring breeze goes pass them and ruffled the blonde tuff on his head as he appeared to think deeply of the question. The minute it took for him to figure his answer felt like an eternity where there's only the two of them that didn't aged.

Nishinoya started off with a deep sigh before speaking. "I don't know," he admitted which surprised her. "There's just something about you that I couldn't leave alone." The boy shrugged and diverted his eyes away from her face. "I know you didn't believe me when I told you that I dreamed about you, but trust me when I say I did."

"I was eight back then," he continued before she could refute him. The mention of his age made her close her mouth and her eyes widened, but Nishinoya didn't see how much it surprised her. "There was this house and I saw you sleeping on the window in the second floor. I tried getting to you but a wall was in between us, and no matter how much I climbed it, it kept getting higher and higher, and I..." He paused and he seemed to want to say more.

In the end, he doesn't add anything to it.

"It's probably the reason," that part was more of a murmur as he rubbed his neck. "But seeing you go this far just to avoid me doesn't make me feel good." The boy finally admitted. "It's different from how Kiyoko-san does it because somehow I could tell that she doesn't find me that much of a nuisance... but with you, well, you made your feelings very clear."

"So if you want me to leave I'll do just that," Nishinoya finally meets her gaze and she nearly melted with the intensity of it. "But I will try one last time."

"The Inter High Preliminaries will start two weeks from now." He informed. "Kaito already knows the schedule and told me he'll be there to support us. Usui and Seiko-chan too. We're going to be facing Tokonami first and if we win against them, then we'll go up against Date Tech."

Ah, there was that unwavering confidence again.

"And I know you have no confidence with us winning but I want to prove you wrong," Nishinoya said, determination flashing in his eyes. "So I have one request for you. Come to our game. It don't have to be during our match with Tokonami, but I wish I'd see you there when we're finally facing off Date Tech."

The girl kept silent.

"If I don't see you then I'll stop. I will not approach you anymore in the hallways. I will never bother you again," he pointed to himself then to her. "You and I can go back to being strangers like we used to." Just a couple of familiar faces that will fade through time.

"But If I do see you in the gymnasium cheering for us, cheering for me, then I will take that as a symbol of you accepting me." Nishinoya once again grinned, a little dust of red painting his cheeks. "Oh, and you will not be seeing me until then. I'll stay as far away until the day of the preliminaries come! You can have my word with this. So, how about it?" The boy asked and stuffed his hands back to his pockets.

Swallowing the lump that formed in her throat, she spoke. "You're just wasting your time on me, do you know that?"

"Perhaps," he replied. "But I think you're going to be worth it. And besides," he paused and looked behind his shoulder. It was then she finally noticed the collection of head discreetly listening to their conversation. The three quickly tried hide but Seiko's yelp pretty much gave them away. "I'm not only doing this for myself."

Ah, so that's it. She thought.

The words "you really are kind, Nishinoya." were spoken as not more than a whisper before she looked away. "I'm not going to be there so don't raise your hopes up." The girl said loudly this time but still she refused to look at him in the eyes.

She heard him hum and she didn't need to look to know he have that grin on his face. "Bet," was the only thing he says before the sound of footsteps walking away was heard. The sound of her friends scrambling away came into her attention and she finally looked toward their direction.

The girl saw the ends of Usui's red hair disappear behind the building wall, presumably following Nishinoya and she assumed Kaito did the same. But there was a single person who stood there and looked back at her.

Seiko was standing there looking unsure. She was clasping and unclasping her hand and looking anywhere but toward her. The girl knows what these actions meant, of course. Her friend does this every time she's worried or was hesitant to say what's on her mind. Eventually, Seiko dropped her hands to the side and flashed her a really sad smile.

"I'll see you later, alright?" The girl said and turned her back to leave, not even waiting for a response.

And then, the girl was finally alone. This was supposed to be the time where she feels something in her has been lifted. She always find her inner peace when nobody was bothering her, when she was alone without any distractions. Yet that inner peace was nowhere to be found.

All there was, was this heavy feeling that weighted her down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “There’s no way you will understand this heart of mine since you’re kind to others. Me, I enjoy putting a curse on everyone.”   
> — Thoughtcrime / Yorushika


	7. Chapter 7

**If she were to describe one of her earliest memories as a child, she will say it was "bright-colored."**

It was in every sense both metaphorically and literally. She vividly remembered the strokes of the paintbrush, the smell of paint, the white apron that was stained by what seemed like a rainbow had splattered itself over it, and the man who had a permanent contented smile on his face as he painted a meadow full of wild flowers.

He would occasionally look behind his back where she was sitting on her little wooden chair, a single half-eaten strawberry cupcake held in between her small hands. His smile would grow bigger as he would ask her if she was getting bored, to which she would reply with a rapid shake of her head and enthusiastically say "I like watching you paint, Papa!"

The man would then laugh heartily, uttering a "Is that so?" Before going back to his work.

Then she would just sit there, occasionally takes a bite of her snack, and takes in the image of him being bathed by the afternoon sunlight from the studio's open windows. An old cassette player was playing a soft ballad in the background and although most kids around her age would easily grow tired of this setup, she was a different case.

The little girl, then aged six, loved that little space where dozens of paintings were scattered methodically and where she could easily be with one of her favorite people in the whole wide world. She felt like that was her safe place and she loved how bright and colorful it usually was. It becomes even brighter when her mother would come through the door with a tray of tea and even more treats in her hands.

She would put it down on the table near her chair and would proceed to carry the girl to where her husband was painting. "Oh, that's beautiful!" She would exclaim which would make the man blush and smile bashfully. "Are you going to add fairies in there? You know I love them!" The woman would continue with a giggle.

The man hummed. "Maybe," he would start before turning to the little girl in her arms. "What do you think? Should I add some fairies?" He would then question even though he already knew the answer. Her mother would also turn to her, smiling wide as the little girl pondered for a second before practically yelling a big and excited "Yes!" The two adults would then laugh, and although she didn't know what was so funny back then, she would too.

The world felt like it was at its brightest back then. The colors danced around and embraced them with their warmth. She felt secure in that world where her happiness seemed to be endless and where that person was smiling at her, and painted pictures that have a life of their own.

But that world has long since disappeared.

She rubbed her temples and cursed herself for remembering such things. The clock tells her it's exactly one in the morning, and she barely made a dent on her math homework. Sometimes she wonders why she even bothers when she could just bribe Kaito to let her copy his work, like how Usui does.

Shaking her head, she decided that maybe it's time for a much-needed break. There was no way she would be able to finish anything, not when her mind was filled with buried memories. The girl removed the hair tie she used to put her hair in a ponytail before turning off her lamp and walking out of her room.

As she expected the house was extremely quiet.

Her mother had gone to bed hours ago and she could only imagine her under the comfort of her blanket, dreaming of fairy tales only she could think of. She on the other hand was still stuck in this nightmare she calls reality. She quickly cringes at how pretentious that sounded.

The girl's journey to the kitchen was a quiet one. She have no idea what she was going to eat, only mindlessly rummaging through the refrigerator until eventually deciding on eating the cup of pudding she's been saving for a movie night. Maybe it was due to the exhaustion that seemed to always go with those memories, or she just didn't want to walk through that dark hallway again, but she choose to plop in front of the open refrigerator and rip the pudding's lid off.

She doesn't eat it right away. It was almost as if she doesn't have the energy to even do so. The girl just quietly sat there, eyes on the opened pudding in her hand and the mist from the refrigerator softly touching her on her crossed legs before completely disappearing into the darkness behind her.

Her mind was in a complete mess. It was like she was battling a thousand enemies at once. Each and one of them took the appearance of a face long since gone and the newer ones has morphed into the shape of the boy who screamed nothing but courage. The battle was catastrophic, their attacks simultaneously comes from both sides and the only thing she could do to fend them off was strengthen her defense. But she wonders how long will said defense last?

"I'm so tired..." a whisper that only the ghost of her past could hear.

Her slumped shoulders felt heavy. She was tired of fighting these battles but she also don't want to admit defeat in fear of greater consequences. She knows there will be consequences. Laying yourself bare in front of people, trusting that they'll be as good as they promised, holding them, believing them without any second guesses, all of those things would only lead to an endless amount of pain.

Nobody truly likes to be in that type of pain, don't they?

If she could help it, she'd run away from it as fast and as far as she could.

Lost in her thoughts, she failed to hear the sound of shuffling feet coming her way. It's when the voice of her mother asking her if she's alright that she wakes up from her trance. The woman stood there with worry clear in her face. The girl could tell that she was abruptly woken up because albeit looking worried and all, she still appeared to be sleepy.

"I'm sorry, did I woke you up?" She asked. To which the woman replied with a hum and sits beside her.

"It's not good to eat snacks at this time of the night, you know?" She drowsily muttered as she embraced her daughter. "Something on your mind?" The older woman then questioned and ran her fingers through the girl's hair.

"I'm just..." a pause as she snuggled into her warmth. "Just worried about the in coming exams..." the girl lied.

If the woman saw through her lie, she didn't show it. "So anxious," she giggled. "You got that from your Papa, you know?" Her mother added and swayed the both of them to a silent beat. "He was always worrying about something. There was this one time when I had to drag him to the cafeteria because he hasn't been eating properly due to his college exams! He pouted all the way there, he was so cute!" When she speaks about him in this way, the girl could tell that the woman still lives in that bright-colored world. In her head, that small studio still existed and he was still there painting meadows where fairies frolicked around. She could still feel his warmth and his hands still touched hers. That smile was still alive and gleaming.

And the girl knows that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

Keeping a dead loved one's memory deep in your heart was the least that you can do. She wished she could do that. She wish she could associate him with happiness he'd given her and not the tragedies that came after when he was finally laid to rest. He wasn't supposed to be associated with sadness, or exhaustion, or any negative emotions but she kept on doing that. She kept on seeing him as the trigger that made her start building that red bricked wall in her heart.

And she knows she needed to stop because she was just looking for someone to blame. There was no use blaming someone for something they couldn't control, but her heart just couldn't let go of the resentment and bitterness it holds.

"Hey, mom," she softly whispered. The way her voice cracked was thankfully ignored by the woman and she merely hummed as a response, encouraging her to say whatever it was on her mind. "I love you..."

Her mother gleefully smiled at this and nuzzled her face into her daughter's hair. "And Mama loves you too." She replied and try as the girl may to do the opposite, she could only morph a small and hollow smile on her face.

* * *

Nishinoya Yū was a man—boy—of his words.

He stopped appearing during lunchtime and although she would occasionally hear him scream her friends names in the hallway, he didn't made any attempt of approaching her whatsoever. Aside from the familiarity he now have with everyone, everything was back to normal.

At least that's what she wanted to say.

Nothing was back to normal. The tension between her and her friends was slowly growing. Even if they don't voice it out, she could tell that none of them was very happy with her driving Nishinoya away. Usui looks annoyed and would barely even speak with her, Seiko was always fidgeting in her seat—her eyes fleeting from the door then to her—, and Kaito tried his best to not talk about the incoming preliminaries. Knowing him, he was dying to do the opposite.

It was the most uncomfortable thing in the entire world.

The atmosphere was heavy and everyone was just forcing themselves to act natural. Everyone but Usui anyway.

"This is so annoying," the redhead finally snapped one lunch break. She unceremoniously slammed her water bottle on the table and successfully made Seiko flinch. Kaito swallowed thickly but doesn't utter a single word.

The girl on the other hand doesn't react and merely chew her food thoroughly. "What's so annoying, Usui?" She finally said after swallowing her food. Her eyes never left her lunchbox but she didn't need to stare at her friend's face to see the twitch of her eye and the clenching of her fist; you're always gonna elicit that reaction from her.

"Oh, so you're just gonna pretend like there's no problem, aren't you?" This time she finally looks her in the eyes.

It wasn't unusual to see Usui nearly seething in anger. If the emotion had a personification, then it might as well be her. She was always so angry, always had something to say about anything, and was always going against the flow of the system around them. It was like she was constantly burning inside.

Sighing, the girl shakes her head. "Need I remind you that it was Nishinoya's decision to not be here? I didn't told him to not eat lunch with you guys anymore."

"Because you were being unreasonable!" Usui exclaimed and now everyone's attention was on their little make-shift lunch table. Their classmates were looking at them with puzzled expression, asking their friends what was going on, while Kaito finally intervened and tells Usui to calm down, he only got snarled at to shut up.

"Do you really need to make a scene?" She replied coldly, her face devoid of any emotion; which irked the redhead even further. "If you like him that much then why don't you go and hang out with him? Nobody is forcing you to stay here."

And that seemed to be the last straw because Usui slammed both of her hands on the table and stood up from her seat. "I've always thought of you as a mature person." She said in between gritted teeth. "But guess I was wrong. There's nothing remotely mature about you." Usui added before storming out of the classroom, not even caring that their break was to end in ten minutes.

Kaito called out for her to come back but she was already gone. Seiko merely exhaled a deep breath before starting to fidget in her seat. "u-umm, don't mind Sui-chan that much!" She exclaimed, referring to their friend by that cute nickname she thought of. "Y-you see, she and her parents fought again and, umm, she's a little on the edge and—where are you going?" the girl asked in worry as she packed up her lunch and stood up from her seat.

She merely murmured the word 'Infirmary' before leaving without a single word.

The girl didn't show her face for the rest of the afternoon class after that. She stayed hidden in that secluded dumpster of hers, mulling over things and sorting and pushing back the memories she wished to forget. It was almost a miracle that none of the teachers patrolling the school ground decided to check up on the place. They seemed to have forgotten that it existed in the first place. Still, she was thankful that it gave her a place to hide.

By the time she decided that it was time for her to leave for her part-time job, the sun was slowly setting and painted the sky in an orange glow. The empty classroom looked rather eerie in its colors but she didn't paid any of it in mind and simply walked toward her school bag which was neatly placed on top of her desk.

She knows she had fucked this time around. She really couldn't blame Usui for lashing out on her because what she said about her was true. The girl acknowledges that she was being childish and she should have tried to speak differently instead of putting more fuel to the fire.

But... but maybe this was for the best.

If what happened earlier was finally the end to their friendships then that's fine by her. Nothing was ever permanent, relationships were bound to end at some point and for her, it was for the best to let go knowing that she hasn't let herself be attached to any of them that much. Sure, it might hurt now but the pain was going to gradually disappear until she was only left with a numb feeling in her heart.

That's right, people come and go.

"I caught you!" Screamed a high-pitched voice behind her. She nearly jumped a few feet in the air and immediately turned around to see the owner of the voice.

Seiko was standing there pointing at her with one hand and the other on her hip, like a magical girl ready to fight her enemies. She was smirking triumphantly at her surprised expression before her face softens. "You were playing hooky today. What a delinquent," She commented with a somewhat sad smile. When the girl merely muttered an apology and turned her back on her again, Seiko doesn't bother smiling anymore.

She said her name softly. "Do you remember the first time we interacted?" Seiko starts and fiddles with the hem of her uniform nervously.

And the girl wanted to say out loud that there's no way she would ever forget. It was during their second year of middle school that she finally shared an exchange of sort with the girl the boys in her class just can't seem to get enough of. Maybe it was just a complete coincidence that she choose to take a short cut on her way home—behind that old forgotten shrine near their school to be specific—but it's thanks to this that she was able to save the girl from her then predicament.

Middle school girls were terrifying. They were so easily jealous and if given the chance to gang up to the reason behind said jealousy, they wouldn't hesitate to do so.

The image of Seiko, so small and fragile, being ganged up by three girls taller than her was possibly the reason she didn't turn around and pretended she didn't see anything. She mostly kept to herself and avoided all possible confrontations but that afternoon she walked up to the girls and said she was gonna call a teacher on them. When that didn't worked, she told the girls that she had everything recorded on her phone. That, of course, was a complete lie but it seemed to have worked because they scrambled away.

She could've stopped there, give the smaller girl a polite bow and go on with her life but she ended up offering Seiko to walk her to the bus stop just in case the girls were still there. It was due to this small act of kindness that the next day, when she was minding her business during lunchtime—fiddling with her gameboy while YUI blasted in her ears from her iPod—that a classmate tells her that somebody wanted to talk to her outside of the classroom.

Her surprise was very clear when a very flustered looking Seiko handed her a pink pouch of homemade cookies, stuttering her gratitude for yesterday as if she hadn't already done so. And by the time she had composed herself, she threw in the request that surprised the girl the most.

"Will you please be my friend?" It was spoken with uncertainty, like she was sure of and was expecting the possibilities of being rejected, but the girl could also tell that it took Seiko's all to even utter those words. She looked hopeful and when someone looks at you like that, there was no way you could say "no."

Maybe it was the sense of security that she showed her that drew Seiko in, but ever since that day the shorter girl has followed her wherever she goes, like a little lost puppy to her owner. And maybe she was indeed like that because despite of her popularity toward the opposite sex, she confessed to never really having someone she could come close to calling a "friend" until her.

"I know I've told you about this before but I was so lonely back then," Seiko's voice lulled her back to reality and the girl finally faced her friend once more. The petite girl wasn't looking at her but she had a very fond smile on her face. "And to cope with that I always daydreamed that one day my prince charming would come and sweep me away. He would save me from the witches who would constantly curse me and then..." She paused and twirled her thumbs. "... and then I would finally be happy."

"In a sense my dream came true, didn't it?" The giggle that left Seiko's mouth was contagious and a small smile formed on the girl's lips. "My prince wasn't some handsome boy on a white horse but instead this really pretty girl who I thought was kinda intimidating at first. She stood there and I remembered how the afternoon sun shined behind her like how it does now."

"I was in a complete awe when she drove the witches away and made sure I was alright. I thought to myself 'my prince finally came' and I remember feeling so happy as I trailed behind you when you lead the way to the bus stop." She continued. "I was even happier when you accepted my request, it made me feel special because it felt I was given the rare chance of getting to know you."

"And in a sense I did," she smiled. "I found out that you weren't as intimidating as I originally thought. That you were just kind of quiet and preferred to be in your little world. I found what your favorite foods are, that you're really patient and would listen to my ramblings without complaining." A pause. "But despite of that, I feel like there's this huge wall in between us."

"Maybe I'm being selfish and is asking for more than you could give, but I wish that one day you'd give me the chance to get to know the real you behind that wall." Seiko smiled sadly. "Because to me you're more than a friend. You're my prince charming, my hero, and the sister I never had. And I want you to know that I'll be here waiting until you're ready, so please..."

The way her lower lip trembled and how she bit on it to stop herself from crying tugged on the girl's heartstring.

"Please don't distant yourself from me... or any of us..." And Seiko doesn't even bother to stop her tears from falling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m never gonna finish this before the year ends at this pace. *peepoocry*


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers for the Karasuno vs Date Tech game.

**"She did not want him to see her cry. She was such a proud flower..."**

That was an excerpt from one of her mother's favorite book, The Little Prince. The context of the quote was about this flower that one day sprouted in the little prince's small planet. The flower loved the little prince dearly but she wasn't good with words and in the end, despite of how much she showed her love through her actions, she ended up driving him away, and she was left lonely and forgotten in that small planet.

Seiko called her her prince but as she stood there in front of the crying girl, she felt more like the flower in that lonely planet.

Her eyes prickled as her best friend broke down. She wanted to cry but she didn't allowed herself to. Her pride just couldn't let her because that's simply what type of person she was. Even though the other party had decided to fully bare their weakness in front of her, be the most vulnerable they could, she couldn't do the same.

She just don't know how to. And also there's a part of her that tells her it's never good to be vulnerable in front of anyone, and that she don't have the right to. She never did.

An apology left her lips and she was glad she even managed to utter those two simple words. Even more so when she walked to where Seiko was standing and embraced the crying girl. The way the words of reassurance left her mouth, saying "I'm not going anywhere," and "Please don't cry anymore. I'll always be here." Were both practiced and at the same time sincere.

She'd said them before.

Hugging Seiko like this was like a flashback to when she was ten and she's embracing her mother as she broke down inside an empty apartment. When Seiko's action of hugging her back mirrored the way the older woman did back then, that voice in her head grew stronger and screamed at her to keep her vulnerabilities in and not burden the other party even further.

She shouldn't cry. She should just hold the other girl close and continue to reassure her because that's what a good friend does, right? And with that thought, her mind goes back to the things the adults around her had constantly drilled into her head.

"That's what a good daughter does," she remembered the words clear as day. "Don't cry when your mother is crying," they would continue. "Don't throw any tantrums—she's already going through too much," or "A good girl will just quietly sit and not cause any troubles. Do that and you'll do us all a favor." And ah—she wasn't able to do that, didn't she?

Seiko was crying because she didn't sit around and held her emotions in. She did caused troubles, she burdened everyone, she didn't even tried to be good. She just straight up decided to be selfish and do whatever she wanted and not think about how that would affect those who are around her.

She was really the worst, wasn't she?

The girl couldn't tell how long she stood there with Seiko in her arms but by the time the petite girl had calmed down, the sun had completely set and the classroom had been painted in darkness. She managed to smile weakly at her friend's puffy face before wiping the rest of her tears with her thumbs. She wasn't sure if the problem at hand had been fixed. Frankly, she was too tired to even think about it.

Her phone had buzzed nonstop in her pocket. She had a vague idea of who they're from (read: her manager) but she decided she'll deal with it later.

She wasn't even surprised when she saw Kaito leaning on the wall when they finally got out of the classroom. He doesn't say anything. He merely walked up to them and ruffled their hairs before enveloping them in a bone crushing hug.

The walk to the bus stop was a quiet one. Seiko held both of their hands and even after the girl had boarded the bus, the two of them kept their eyes on her until they eventually disappeared as the vehicle took a turn.

This was the part where the heavy weight on her back is lifted, right? Then why do it feel like nothing was resolved? Why was that uncomfortable feeling still there and clinging onto her?

* * *

Usui was gone.

Well, not in a permanent type of way. No, not like that. She hasn't been to school for nearly the entirety of the week but thanks to her consistent exchange of messages with Seiko, they were assured that she was alive and well. Although she didn't gave a slight clue of where she was staying because apparently she ran away from home.

That wasn't anything new. She had run away multiple times in the past and if she and her hadn't got into that fight, Usui would have crashed into her place. Her mother was really fond of her friends and their house was always open to those who needed a place to stay.

"There's nothing mature about you," those words still loudly rings into her ears. They were like a slap to her face and she couldn't even refute it.

It was the biggest insult anyone could give to her. She knows it wasn't deliberate and Usui probably don't have the slightest idea how much those words affected her. How was she supposed to know? The girl never tells anyone anything about her, save for the superficial things. It wasn't Usui's fault that those words cut deeper than they should because unlike the redhead, and Nishinoya, or everyone else around her, she doesn't wear her heart on her sleeves.

Sometimes she wished she could but it wasn't as easy as how people make it seems. At least not for her.

And she could only watch the days pass by until it was finally the time for the Karasuno volleyball team to play in the preliminaries. She knows the venue and time, Kaito messaged her the night before. His text was left on read but he didn't comment on it, only adding a little "we hope to see you there." at the end after not receiving any response.

At this point, any logical person would say to just give it up. After all, it's not that serious, right? She was just being stubborn for no clear reasons. And maybe to most people it isn't. Maybe to them, letting someone into their lives was as easy as breathing itself but with her, that wasn't the case.

Because what if everything was just a front?

What if, while she was right about the intensity of his colors and Nishinoya could easily break through her defenses, he wasn't as bright and as good like she had initially thought? What if that whole 'wearing his heart on his sleeves' thing was just a façade. That underneath that bright smile was someone dark and twisted?

What if, what if, what if—she had to take a deep breath and calm her thoughts down.

Now was not the time for her to act like this. Not when she was out on public and her mother was chattering to her about this young adult book she recently read. The ambiance inside the coffee shop was comforting even though the place was full. Hushed whispers drifted through the air and conversations between each patrons flowed smoothly. In front of her, her mother continued to talk about how she swooned over the main love interest and how the book's world building was just spectacular.

She would sometimes take a pause and sip on her cup of americano before chattering her daughter's ears off once more. The girl doesn't mind. She was never the person who fills in the silence. She was more used to listening to people ramble on while she think of the most random stuffs, like how the waitress accidentally placed her mother's bitter drink in front of her and her order of caramel macchiato in front of the woman. The elder merely giggled and exchanged their drinks once the waitress left.

Maybe it was because she looked more like the type who would drink that bitter cup than her mother who was all smiles.

And she can't fault the waitress for mixing things up. She wanted to look mature. She wanted to be that person who everyone would think "I can relay on them." Because that's how adults are, right? Nobody looks down on an adult and say "You don't understand anything. You're just a kid." She wasn't a kid. She tried hard not to be. Yet when Usui told her otherwise she felt like the mask she's been wearing was slapped off her face.

She wasn't an adult. She was nothing but a little kid who was trying too hard to be one. Just how she couldn't even muster to give Nishinoya a chance was enough proof.

But what was she supposed to do when she was so terrified of the possible consequences of her actions?

The girl saw her phone light up from its spot near her cup. It was a message from Seiko telling her Karasuno had won their first game before another notification pops up. Kaito's name flashes on top of the message that was informing her the next game was going to be at 1:30 that afternoon; an hour from now. Then another message comes from the least person she expected: Usui. "We're still waiting for you, you big dumb baby." It said.

Unknowingly, a small smile spread across her face.

"Hey, mom." She called out, which made the woman stop her rambling half-way. When she was sure that she fully have the elder woman's attention, the girl swallowed thickly and asked her the question that's been clouding her mind. "How can you be sure that a person will not hurt you?"

The woman looked taken aback at first, clearly not expecting to get asked such a deep question when she was just talking about how hot the main antagonist was, but then she slowly eased up and smiled at her daughter. She hummed. "Does this have anything to do with how down you've been lately?" She asked and upon not getting any reply she opted to take a sip of her coffee.

"Trusting someone is a scary thing, isn't it?" she started. "A person might promise you that they'll be nothing but good, that they'll cherish you, and will never let any harm come your way and then break those same promises when you finally decide to believe them."

She had her slim fingers wrapped around her cup. The woman was smiling as she voiced out the things that's been bugging her daughter's mind. Yet despite the negativity of her words, she was relaxed and appeared to be at peace; highly contrasting the younger's current disposition.

"In life you will meet a lot of people." She resumed. "Not all of them are going to be good... some will hurt you, to the point that you start to think that everyone is going to be the same." The woman paused to take a drink of her coffee and gather her thoughts. "You'll start to think 'ah, he's just going to be the same,' or 'I bet he isn't really sincere with his words,' and so on... You start to doubt everyone's intention. You wonder why this person is so kind to you, wonder what their real motives are."

The smile on her face doesn't change and she simply tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "And next thing you know you're in a very miserable state. Happiness will start to feel like a long by-gone dream that everyone but you seems to be in."

"You doubt so much that you've completely forgotten that kind, honest, and sincere people do exist." The woman smiled once more, but it seemed to be laced with sadness. "That, not everyone is going to break your heart. That, it's alright to let go of your doubt for once and hold on to the hand reaching out to you."

"But what if you make a mistake and that person ended up as bad as what your doubt had told you?" The girl couldn't help but ask.

The response she got was one big smile and a shrug. "Then you learn from it. That's how you grow as a person." Her mother propped her elbows on top of the table and rest her chin on her open palms.

"There's never a definitive answer if a person will hurt you or not from the get go," she said. "The best thing you can do is to give them a chance and if they do end up hurting you then don't tell yourself that it's your fault or you should've known better. Learn from it, but never shut yourself off from everyone because if you do, you'll be missing out on a lot of things."

Her phone lights up again. A message from Seiko that reads "We will be here," four words that made her heart ache. She balled her fist on her lap and stared at her mother in the eyes.

"Is it really okay?" She asked hoarsely. "To give people a chance?"

The woman reached out to her with one hand and tucked a strand of hair behind her ears before cupping her cheek. "Yes," She said with a gentle smile. "You'll never know, they could be the one who will make you the happiest person alive." The warmth of her touch lingered as she drew her hand back and leaned to her seat.

"I took the chance with your papa, you know." She said, a gentle nostalgia reflecting in her eyes. "And even though it was short-lived, I was the happiest back then and if I could go back in time and redo all of it, I wouldn't. Because those memories are the ones that got me through that painful nightmare after his death."

The girl doesn't say anything. But even though there was a silence that had enveloped them, it wasn't uncomfortable. It was almost as warm as the older woman's touch and as sweet as the caramel macchiato in front of her. Her eyes shifted to watch on her wrist and when she replayed her mother's words inside her head, she finally comes into a decision.

"I'm sorry," She said as she stood up from her seat and grabbed her purse. "I actually need to be somewhere else today. I'll make it up to you when I get home. I'll watch any movies that you want and I, umm, I..." her ramblings was cut off by her mother giggling.

"It's fine," The woman beamed and waved one hand. "Go but be ready to cook some curry for dinner, alright?" She added.

Maybe it was due to how understanding she was being or how she didn't asked anymore question, that the girl felt her heart swell. She wordlessly pulled the woman into a hug, whispered "I'll see you later," and turned around to catch the bus that will take the route to the Sendai City Gymnasium.

The sudden rush of air attacks her as she hurriedly got out of the cafe but she didn't let it deter her. She ordered her legs to move, to run, to catch that bus that would take her to where Seiko and the rest were waiting for her. The girl bumped into multiple people in her haste but she only exclaimed an apology and kept her eyes forward. She have half an hour to get there but knowing the traffic around this area, she doubt that would be enough.

She felt her heart drop when she saw the bus leaving just as she rounded the corner. The girl even exclaimed at it to stop but the distance between her and the vehicle was far too big for the driver to see her. She was heavily catching her breath when she finally reached the bus stop. "Just my luck," she grumbled in between her labored breathing. To make matters worse, the second bus was not gonna arrive not after fifteen minutes. She couldn't wait for that long.

There was the option of running but if her memory serves her right, the gymnasium was literally on the other side of the city. Not only would she be wasting her energy, she was also going to waste time. That means there's only one option left, and that is to take a cab.

It was going to put a dent on her wallet for sure but money can be earned back, right? With a ding of her phone informing her of a notification, she called a taxi. "To the Sendai Gymnasium, please!" She told the driver the moment she entered the vehicle. She must've looked deranged because he gives her a weirded look before starting up the engine.

Her heart was pounding still as the city's sceneries flashed through the car's window. There was a series of question running through her head like "Will I make it?", "Will they still be there?", "Will they forgive me?", and lastly "Am I doing the right thing? Is it really okay for me to take this risk?"

The girl could only bite her lower lip as to try to calm her nerves down. Time seemed to be running way too fast and the longer she sits inside that vehicle the farther her friends seemed to get away from her. She'd send them a short "I'm coming!" text but she wonders just how much of that they'll believe.

No, she shouldn't be thinking this way. Just the fact that her friends still texted her was enough proof that they haven't given up on her yet, and she shouldn't too.

But it seemed like fate itself was against her.

She lurched forward when the taxi made a sudden stop. The girl hears the driver say an apology and tell her of the traffic in front of them. Apparently, there was some type of accident that occurred. She felt her heart drop for the second time that day. How much time does she have left? Five minutes? She wasn't gonna make it during the start of the game, wasn't she? But then, how long was she going to be stuck here?

Maybe she should've just ran. The girl thought as she opted to bite her thumb instead of her lip. The traffic was not moving and that five minutes flew by fast. Inhaling a breath, she leaned forward.

"Hey mister," she started. "How far is the gymnasium from here?" The girl asked which earned her an incredulous look from the old man.

"About ten minutes but with this traffic it might take an ho—hey, where are you going?" He asked in panic as she unbuckled her belt and takes a couple of yen from her wallet.

"I'm sorry but I'm in a hurry," was the only explanation she gave before she got out of the car.

She ignored the vehicles honking at her as she ran toward the pedestrian lane. The girl managed to ask a woman for the direction of the gymnasium before she was on her feet again. She was trying her hardest not to bump into anyone and would only stop every time she needed another set of direction.

She was late. The tiny glimpse she had on the digital clock in a shop's window tells her the game had started. Her feet were starting to hurt and the constant stop she need to take to take a breather was prolonging her delay. She doesn't even bother to check her phone knowing it's most likely being bombarded by her friends' messages. There was just one thing on her mind; that was to get there as soon as possible.

The ten minutes that was going to take her had turned longer. How long? She doesn't bother checking anymore. Deep inside she knew she was never gonna get there on time. The best she could do was to move and get there at all cost. Even if her feet start to give in on her, or her lungs couldn't pump in anymore oxygen in her system, she was gonna get there.

An immense feeling of relief.

That's what it felt like when she saw the gym's entrance. This time she finally decided to check on her phone and sure enough, there was a dozen of text from her friends. Not only that, she missed the first set of the game and they were now on the second set. A curse loudly left her mouth with the amount of time she wasted. It attracted a few bystanders but she couldn't really care less anymore.

Wiping the sweat on her forehead, she rushes toward the building. She earned even more bewildered looks when she came up to a couple of boys and asked where the Karasuno and Date Tech were having their game. Offering them a simple thanks and a smile, she willed her feet to once again move toward the direction they've given.

The cheering was loud even behind closed doors. It gave her a sense of relief knowing the game hasn't ended yet and even though her body was near on giving up on her, she pushed the doors open and runs toward the railing.

Her hands flew straight to her mouth as she watched the two teams push the ball to the opposite side of the court. It only lasted for a mere second but it felt longer until eventually the ball was pushed to their side of the court. Despite her lack of understanding of the game's mechanic, she knows that was lost on Karasuno's side. She was so sure; there was no way that ball could stay in the air.

And then time seemed to stop.

It was that moment when you feel your heart skip a beat, your chest tightening as anxiousness rapidly eats it away, and then in a blink of an eye, that feeling is quickly blown away.

"Leave it to me!" She remembered. The confidence that shone through his eyes as he proudly stated that. The way light reflected on them, he looked as much as a hero inside a story book. The one whom you could always trust to keep their words. The context might be different, that he might be not convincing anyone that volleyball was a great sport, and he wasn't rambling something bizarre like dreaming about a person, but as he moved his foot and stopped that ball from hitting the ground, he seemed to be screaming those words.

And she couldn't think of anything more amazing than seeing that ball rise up to the air once again.

She heard him scream "One more time!" And the ball was thrown toward the same player from earlier. He jumped high, swung his arm and hit the ball with such vigor that it could probably break someone's arms if they were inexperienced in this game. The opposing team managed to block it but instead of the ball bouncing back to Karasuno's court, it goes straight on top of the net. If it was even possible, everyone seemed to have stopped breathing as they watched the ball balance itself and roll to the side.

And eventually, it falls down to the opposing court. They tried to chase after it but it was already too late. Unlike how it was with Karasuno they don't have anyone with a fast reflex like Nishinoya.

Just like that, with the sound of the ball hitting the floor, the underdog wasn't an underdog anymore.

It almost felt like a thorn was pulled out of her chest when the team screamed in victory. She felt their joy reverberate inside her and she doesn't stop the relieved exhale that comes out of her mouth. Her clutch on the railing tightened when the weight of all the running she did comes crashing into her. She don't think she even have the strength to stand as her legs shake under her.

But then her eyes locked in with the reason she was there to begin with. He looked surprised, eyes blown completely wide and he appeared to be frozen on his spot. His gaze made her nervous. For the first time she couldn't tell what he was thinking. Was he glad that he saw her here? Or was it the opposite? The anxious feeling in her gut was eating her. That's until he broke into a large grin and flashed two peace sign toward her, as if saying, "didn't I tell you? We're gonna win!" And she couldn't even stop herself when a smile of her own formed on her face.

"You really are amazing, aren't you? Nishinoya?" She said under her breath. So amazing, she wanted to add.

She regretted thinking how much she hated his smile. It was a foolish thought to even think of it as destructive. It was fiery, yes. It was bright and blinding but at the same time she could now feel it wasn't going to break her than she initially thought it would. There was just something about it that made her feel warm and secure, and maybe, just maybe, he wasn't going to be part of those people who made her build her walls.

The girl sees her friends after that short exchanged and approached them. Seiko was full on crying as she tackled her to the ground, Kaito lightly laughed and pulled his girlfriend and her back to their feet, and Usui was behind him with an unreadable expression.

Of course, that didn't last long as the redhead full on grinned and punched her on the arm.

Words could not explain how relieved she felt to see that her friends has no ill feelings toward her. It made her think that 'Ah, she really did the right decision this time.' All those running that she did, those apologies she had to say then, everything was worth it. Smiling back, she greeted her friends and said:

"I'm sorry I'm late."

* * *

She meets Nishinoya outside of the gymnasium half an hour later when they were done packing their stuffs. The team was waiting for the bus to take them back to Karasuno and he was energetically chattering with his underclassman. She wondered where was he even getting all his energy from.

He noticed her approaching, of course. He always do. The smug look on his face almost made her want to turn around but she knows she owes him this much at least. And it's not like she could go back to her friends without talking to him. They will not allow it. Huffing, she stopped a good distance from him.

"You look quite proud of yourself," she commented.

Instead of taking offense, Nishinoya's smirk turned into a full-blown grin. "Do I?" He asked. "So how was it? I was really cool, right?"

The girl hummed as a response and shrugged. "You were so-so," she said and mimicked his smirk earlier after earning a "Hey!" From the boy. It was kind of fun teasing him. Maybe she can get used to this, the girl thought. "Just kidding!" She laughed and completely missed how the boy froze and how a small tint of pink dusted his cheeks. "You were amazing... I guess." She added the last bit teasingly.

She was waiting for a response, some type of retort, but she didn't get any as the boy was looking at her with an unreadable expression. It's only when one of his teammates called out to him, saying something about the bus arriving, that he finally woke up from his trance. She watched as he rapidly blinked and then he said something she never expected and left her a flustered mess.

"You really are beautiful." He said in a matter of factly.

The way her blood rushed to her face nearly made her dizzy and she took a couple of step backs when Nishinoya decided to get closer.

"W-what?!" She managed to stutter and goes completely mute when he got way too close. Their noses were almost touching and while he was at disadvantage because he had to tilt his head upwards, he doesn't seemed to mind nor do he even realize how close they were.

The girl could only swallow thickly when he stared up on her with his big doe eyes. They seemed to shine in some type of emotion—that she hoped was not mischief, please God no—and she waited with bated breath with whatever it was that he's planning. But he merely leaned back and gave her space.

"Cute," was the only thing he said before grinning.

That infuriated her. God knows how much it did but she also couldn't ignore how rapid her heart was beating. It also didn't help how she was hyper aware of how hot her face has gotten. She was usually good at handling these types of advances but the way he stared up to her, smiled at her, made the girl tongue-tied.

Once again, a teammate of his called out for him. Nishinoya screamed back that he's coming then turned his attention to the girl. "So," he started and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I take this as a sign that you're fine with having me around?" Nishinoya questioned with a smile.

This time she really couldn't look at him in the eyes. "Yeah," she replied and nervously hold her left arm. "I realized how unreasonable I was being. And well," she paused and exhaled a breath. "I'm sorry for being an ass toward you."

Her language earned her a hearty laugh followed by a "yeah, you really were." Nishinoya grinned widely and stuck his hand forward. "Friends?" He questioned to which the girl simply shrugged and accepted.

"Friends." She said with a firm grip and a small smile on her face.

* * *

**Part I: End.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and they were friends. :flushedemoji:
> 
> hi hello. sorry if my updates has been hella slow, im sort of in a writing slump. i hope it goes away soon tho. i really, really wanna finish this. on a side note, this was 5k words like tf. i was gonna divide it into two parts but then thought "nah this is the end of part I anyway (there's 3) so might as well go ham on it" you know? so if you're still here, thank you so much! I appreciate you coming this far. muah
> 
> That's all ig. Hope to see you next chapter! byeee.


	9. Chapter 9

**Colors were starting to bleed into her world.**

They appeared through the cracks on the ground, from the branches of the trees, and even the rain had started to take in the color of deep indigo. In her open palms sat that little crow. It stared at her with its big doe eyes as that dark and lonely forest continued take a different form, something less melancholic, something less tragic. The crow doesn't speak this time around but she found herself not minding the uncharacteristic silence. It was comforting, it was warm. It was nostalgic even, like that memory of that man who painted happily in that studio.

She watched as it spread its wings and readied itself to leave the comfort of her palms. It was truly a beautiful sight when each flap of its feathers produced small sparks of colors, like fireworks bursting into the night sky. The crow hovered above her, staring deep into her soul before turning around and flying into the deeper part of the forest, beckoning her to follow it.

The sparks created a path. They floated just above the ground, almost creating a replica of the milky way in the sky. She'd never something so beautiful before and a part of her wondered if the view beyond that dark forest was even more majestic.

Was it okay for her to see that? Was it okay for her to walk that path? To take a step and follow that little crow to wherever it was that it's leading her?

"Are you really going to leave me behind?" A voice suddenly spoke.

She turned around, only to be greeted by a sight she never expected. The same pair of eyes stared back at her, only it was younger, much, much younger. The little girl was wearing that sundress she owned long ago; a special gift from that person who she held in her heart so dearly. She wasn't crying. As a matter of fact, no emotions was displayed on her face. She was devoid of it, like how she was devoid of any colors that were not black and grey.

The girl watched in silence when the color that touched the little girl's feet turned black and died down. "Everything always disappear, don't they?" She said. "Even you. You'll leave me too." The resignation in her tone made her heart clench painfully. The little girl was already expecting her departure. She knew she was gonna end up alone and that was more painful than feeling an immense sadness over the idea.

"It's fine," the little girl continued. "I'll be fine..."

Oh, how familiar those words were. It brought back memories of her inside her dark room back in Tokyo. Her small frame curled up on the corner as she buried her face on her folded arms, in hope that it would quiet down her cries while two voices argued loudly just outside. The noise was unbearable. It felt like a nail on a chalkboard and she wished they would just stop.

The girl knows that if she takes a step forward then she would be leaving this part of her behind. Can she really do that? Can she truly be happy when she knows this younger version of her would forever stay in this forest, alone, and lonely?

"No, I can't." The girl thought as she longingly stared at the sea of colors leading her away from this little girl.

There was no way she could do that. She knows what it's like to be alone. To be trapped in that bubble of loneliness when she realized there was truly no one out there who would hear her out.

So she made up her mind. She turned her back from that pathway and started walking toward the little girl. "This is for the best," she thought. The moment that she touches her, these unnecessary colors will disappear. The deep indigo rain, the fiery red the leaves were changing in, the bright yellow form in which the ground beneath her had taken in, all of it will be gone. But if that meant this part of her would not be alone for the rest of eternity then so be it.

She simply don't want her to be lonely anymore.

Yet before she could take a step, she felt someone take hold of her hand. A jolt courses through her veins with the sudden contact and the girl gasped when she was pulled back. The touch was warm and familiar. It calmed the storm of resignation that was brewing in her heart.

She wanted to see who it was, see who the owner of the hand that suddenly intertwined with hers and made the colors burst brighter around her. But just as she looked back behind her shoulder, she saw nothing but blinding lights and she finally woke up to the sound of her alarm.

It took her a couple of moments to realize she was just dreaming, a couple more to finally have the strength to turn the alarm off. The girl took notice of the fact she forgot to close her blinds before going to sleep. The early morning sky greeted her with orange hues which was slowly melting in the blueness of the new day. The mixtures of colors reminded her of her dream.

She don't know what their purpose were. Frankly, she was at lost.

The girl could always blame it on the unhealthy amount of fantasy media her mother forces on her, but what doesn't make sense was for said dreams to always correlate. That's not how dreams work, right? Dreams were supposed to be just a series of unrelated scenarios created by the brain when the body was at rest. It's not supposed to be a full-blown story that always connected.

She contemplated talking to Usui about them again but then what good would that do? Maybe, she should just contact an exorcist or something.

"How annoying," she grumbled and buried herself back to the comfort of her blanket. It wouldn't be for long until her mother would come barging into her room to drag her out. Until then, she wish to get more sleep and hopefully not dream about that crow and that forest again.

* * *

Being friends with Nishinoya Yū was exactly how she expected it to be; a total chaos.

Not a day that passed where her peace and quiet did not get disrupted. The chaos always starts the first thing in the morning when she's barely awake and wish she was still snoring her life away on her bed. Since she doesn't have to avoid him anymore, she always opted to buy her morning strawberry milk from the vending machine near the gymnasium, which was the closet to the school building's entrance.

It always starts the same.

She inserts the coin into the slot, chooses her favorite out of the bunch, and only bends down to get her drink once she starts hearing a pair of heavy footsteps running her way. He screams her first name—the familiarity bothered her at first like among other things, now she doesn't care anymore—and for some bizarre reasons, he always jumps at her after he adds an enthusiastic "GOOD MORNING!"

She avoids him, of course. If Nishinoya was expecting she'd spread her arms and catch him while he barrels down at full speed, then he was gravely mistaken. Not only did she not have that kind of energy first thing in the morning, she was sure the boy was heavier than he look and she'd rather not break a bone so early.

He planted face first on the ground and the girl almost laughed, especially when he coughed up the dirt that entered his mouth. "Stop avoiding me!" Nishinoya angrily screamed.

"Sorry, my hands were full." She half-heartedly lied.

"You're not holding anything!" He screamed and pointed an accusing finger at her.

Again, she ignored him and opted to insert the straw into the milk box and takes one long sip of her drink. "I was," the girl replied after a satisfied hum. "See this? Would've been a waste if I dropped it, don't you think?" she continued and takes another sip.

"You can still catch me while holding that!" Nishinoya retaliated. (She's going to admit that he was kind of cute when he's fuming like this, with his cheeks puffed and a pout on his mouth. But she's not going to tell him that, not in a million years.)

"Oh? You're right. Never thought of that," the girl said in a tone that definitely conveyed the opposite of her words.

Nishinoya noticed this and was about to open his mouth to spew in more angry words when he suddenly goes quiet. He sits up straight, holds his chin with his hand, and eyes her from her head to her feet. Just one look at him and she could immediately tell what's running through that mind of his.

"You know," he started before she could say anything. "I've never pointed it out since we're busy preparing for the spring tournament but..." Nishinoya paused and then grinned wide. "You look really hot in summer uniform!" He said and flashed her a thumbs up.

"I will blind you," she threatened.

This only earned her a click of the tongue courtesy of the boy. "You're really not cute when you're like that." Nishinoya commented as he rise up from the ground.

The girl hummed and takes another sip. "I'm surprised you have time to do this every morning when you've been yapping non-stop about the spring tournament." She said as she watched him pat the dirt off his pants and shirt. "Shouldn't you be practicing right now?"

"Well, practice is important and all, yeah," Nishinoya started while he massaged his neck. "But greeting cute girls in the morning is equally as important!" He proudly stated with a huge grin on his face.

"You sound like a perverted old-man." She could only sigh.

Nishinoya Yu was a huge flirt. Sometimes his advances were deliberate, sometimes they weren't. And unfortunately she was always subjected to them. (Although at this point on she has grown some type of immunity towards said advances because of how much repetitive they get. But there were days where he still catches her off guard. She hated those days the most because it always ends up with her cheeks ablaze.)

Instead of getting offended, he merely laughed and patted her on the back with so much force that she nearly stumbled forward. "Thanks, thanks!"

"That wasn't a compliment," she clarified after coughing. Something of which he of course ignored.

"Anyway, are you up to watching us practice? I just improvised Rolling Thunder!" He proudly stated. The girl doesn't comment on his strange ways of naming his moves and instead finishes up her drink.

"Watching sweaty boys dive and grind into the floor is not really my thing." She said and immediately regretted saying it after realizing the sexual connotation in it. The way his grin morphed into his face was enough for her to do some quick damage control. "Don't say anything," she warned.

Once again, Nishinoya clicked his tongue. "Come on, I'm sure those boys will appreciate a cute girl cheering for them." He said to which she countered by saying they already have Shimizu-senpai to do that. "Yeah but imagine TWO cute girls! Not one but TWO! That'll give them energy to fight on until the end of time!"

Ah, she was tired already and it was only seven in the morning. She need to escape before he drag her to the gymnasium and give everyone the wrong idea for the second time.

The girl discreetly roamed her eyes around the vicinity in hope of finding something she could use as a scapegoat. Alas, said scapegoat came in the form of Shimizu Kiyoko herself. The upperclassman was carrying a box to the gymnasium and with his back facing her, Nishinoya did not notice the girl. Part of her feels guilty for what she was about to do but the part who'd rather not deal with Nishinoya Yu's boundless energy first thing in the morning whispered to her that this was for the best.

"Oh, it's Shimizu-senpai." Was all that she needed to say to have the boy's neck snap to where she was staring.

In the instance Nishinoya was off to greet his "darling Kiyoko-san," at full speed like how he'd done earlier. But of course he never learns because much like her—or any sane person, really—Shimizu avoided him. He quickly recovered, no surprise there, and immediately bombard the poor upperclassman with compliments to which she wholly ignored.

The girl gives Shimizu a quiet salute for her sacrifice, buys another box of strawberry milk, then starts her walk toward her classroom.

She meets him again during lunchtime (although there were days when she wouldn't because he'd be eating with his other friends), and on some occasions, even after classes. He's still that boundless ball of energy who lacked table manners and says whatever it was that's on his mind but things were a lot easier to take in now that she'd thrown her worries away. As a matter of fact she quickly found out that he's no different from Usui, or Kaito, or pretty much anyone else. She felt stupid making a huge deal of his eccentricities in the first place.

The girl was also quick to realize how easy it was to talk to him. Nishinoya treated nearly everyone like they'd been friends for the longest time and that air of awkwardness she was expecting to envelop them didn't even showed its shadow.

(She could even go as far and say that she actually likes his company. But she's never gonna tell him that knowing he'll never let it die down.)

Nishinoya just fits perfectly in their friend group. "He was almost like a missing puzzle piece that completed the picture," Was exactly what she's thinking as she watched said boy animatedly talk to Kaito about volleyball while Usui tuned her guitar in the background. It was one of rare instances when the volleyball team don't have any practice and the team was free to do whatever they wanted after class. She was expecting him to run to his other friends, so imagine her surprise when he comes barreling in their classroom and asked if they have places to go.

She don't have any (it was her day off), but Kaito, Seiko and Usui do. Which don't mean that much, really. The three of them was part of this one obscure club that stemmed from Usui's refusal to join the established music club, Kaito's weird obsession with sports, and some upperclassman's questionable hobbies they pass off as club activities (Seiko's only a member because Kaito was.)

It's basically just a clusterfuck of unrelated things of a club. To how it got approved was still a mystery.

The girl wasn't gonna complain though. Their clubroom gave her a place to lounged in when she don't feel like going home early.

It was just the five of them that afternoon and she was about to doze off from her spot on the couch when Nishinoya's loud voice brought her back to reality.

"So basically we're gonna be having a practice match in Tokyo!" He excitedly announced. "It's a series of matches so it's going to be held for a week! I'm burning up!"

"Oh, that's amazing!" Kaito whistled and then as if realizing something, he suddenly turned to her. "Aren't you originally from Tokyo? Maybe you can give him some advices so he doesn't get lost."

The girl thinks that for someone with good grades, there were times when Kaito failed to grasp the obvious. "I'm pretty sure they're not allowed to roam aro—"

"Yo! You were from Tokyo?!" Whatever else she was gonna say disappeared into the thin air when Nishinoya leapt up from his seat and jumped on the empty spot beside her. His eyes were beaming with curiosity, which was never a good thing as she'd noticed these past weeks.

Gulping, she had to look away because of how intensely he was staring at her. "y-yeah," she admitted. "we used to live in Nakameguro until my mom got offered a job here." At least that was the small summary of how things went but he don't need the full story, do he?

"So basically, you're ' _that_ '" Nishinoya commented with a snap of his fingers. When asked whatever ' _that_ ' meant, she burst out laughing with the answer that she got. "A City Girl." He said in a serious tone and crossed his arms over his chest.

She didn't know why, it wasn't even that funny when she think about it, but she just couldn't stop. It came to the point where her stomach started to ache.

"What the hell?" She managed to say all the while snickering. "Who still use that term nowadays?" Nishinoya paused for a moment before pretending to look offended and tells her that Tanaka and him does and a city girl like her have no right to laugh at them. "Sure," She said with a grin.

His stare lingered even after Kaito brought back the topic of their away games in Tokyo. Nishinoya only stopped staring when he finally told the bespectacled boy who teams were also gonna be there. She found it odd every time he did so. He was always so easy to read until he stops and stares at her, his eyes swimming in thoughts he only knew.

Maybe it's the idea of not knowing what's going through that chaotic mind of his, but seeing him so serious gives her such a foreign feeling she couldn't put a name on.

"Just wait. After our practice games and other preparations, we're gonna make Aoba Johsai eat dirt." He proclaimed with nothing but unadulterated confidence.

If he'd said that around the time they were still in bad terms, she might've scoffed at him. It was just ridiculous to think that a puny team could take down a powerhouse like Aoba Johsai. The fact that Karasuno lost against them during the inter high was a silent statement in itself. But nobody could ever discredit how much they put up a fight. It was a battle where one misjudgment of their next move could result with the opposing team winning the game. Which pretty much what happened.

(She wasn't there this time around because she had to relieve one of her coworkers but she did saw the replays of the game on a local television channel. Everyone bugged her to watch it and so she did.)

The girl knows that if Nishinoya, or the entire team themselves, put their mind into it they could do the impossible. Kind of, she still have her doubts if she's being honest.

As if sensing this, the boy once again shifted his attention to her. "W-what?" She asked when he squinted his eyes in suspicion, as if saying 'I know what you're thinking.' If someone were to tell her Nishinoya Yu was an actual yokai, she might believe them. It would also go well with his whole "guardian deity" shtick about him that she learned just recently.

"A-anyway," Clearing her throat, she opted to change the topic before she gets put into a hot spot. "The final exams are nearing, aren't they? It'll be nice if—"

A pair of shriek cut her off and while Nishinoya didn't surprised her the slightest, Usui did. Kind of. The girl thought the redhead had completely lost herself in her own song composition to even listen to them ramble.

"Why would you remind me?!" The duo exclaimed in unison. The girl asked herself if this was what the internet meant when they say two people share the same braincells.

Nishinoya ruffled his hair and screamed while Usui started to rapidly bite her nails out of sheer nervousness. It was quite funny, the girl was going to admit that. Ridiculous, yes, but it was taking her all to keep a straight face and not burst out laughing because of their antics.

"I was hiding myself here because Chikara was gonna drag me and Ryu to his house to study, and I almost forgot about the entire thing!" Ah, so the cat's out of the bag. She stared at him with judging eyes. "I mean don't you think it's unfair to not let us join the practice game if we fail our test?! You don't need to know English when you're on the court, right?!"

"That's right! And why must the school involve our parents if we fail?! That's none of their business!" Usui added. It was Kaito who pointed out that their parents do have the right to know, only to be told to shut up and get called a "four eyed nerd" for his troubles. "I don't need good grades when I'm gonna be famous, goddammit!" she cried.

The question of why was she even friends with these idiots once again crossed her mind.

"Now, now, it's going to be alright!" Seiko, being the little angel that she was, decided to intervene. "If you need help with studying you can count on me!" she proclaimed. Both Nishinoya and Usui were in tears and the former went as far as pouncing on her out of sheer joy. Kaito was quick to move and grab his girlfriend out of his way, resulting to Nishinoya barreling on the wall behind them.

"I-if that's the case I'll help too!" he said and for some obscure reason he pointed at her. "We'll have a group study at her house this Saturday!"

"I don't remember agreeing to that." The girl scrunched up her nose at the possibility of spending her free time with these bunch. She love her friends, dearly, but sometimes she just gotta take an alone time for herself to not go crazy.

"Well we can't have it at mine cause it's being renovated." He said. Or rather, he lied because this was the first time she's hearing about this. The only reason she could think of to why he did so was his fear of Nishinoya finding that scrapbook he made about the best middle school players. "Seiko's having some relatives over and Usui's house is out of the picture."

"What about his?" She pertained at the boy who was quickly getting to his feet. Yet from the way his eyes were breaming with the familiar sparks of curiosity, she knows he was more than thrilled about having a group study at her house.

The bespectacled boy turned to the other boy and asked him if he mind having it at his house, to which he replied that he actually preferred doing it at hers. Kaito merely shrugged and pushed his glasses to the bridge of his nose, as if to make a point. "Your house also have extra books we could use for English and Literature," Kaito countered again. "And besides, it's not like your mom would mind, right?"

Of course, she wouldn't. The girl thought. They'd been there for god knows how many times that they're basically at first name basis with her mother at this point. Sighing, she reluctantly agreed knowing this was a battle she was going to lose.

It was going to be a long Saturday, she supposed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. O-O )


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